*psst!* Come close…I have a confession. (Also, did you catch the horrible pun in the title?)

But first you have to promise you won’t roll your eyes at me, we all have our things and this is mine.

Promise?

Good.

*deep breath* Here goes.

I don’t like having my picture taken, in fact, I kind of hate it. (HEY! You said you wouldn’t roll your eyes.)

me.

(by Addie)

Oh, I know what you’re thinking “Join the club, lots of people don’t like having their picture taken.”

I know, I know. But I’m different!

I don’t trust anyone else to take my picture (except for her and sometimes her.) It’s not that I don’t think I’m lovely, yet it gives me heaps and gobs of anxiety when someone else takes my picture when I have no control over what happens next. I don’t like the idea of someone zoomed in on my face furiously trying to erase my rash. My face is uneven, my right eye is nicknamed my ‘squinky eye’ because it closes more than my left and it develops a big wrinkly puff under it when I do smile. I also have mottled teeth because of hyperflourosis, they’re straight as can be but boy are they spotty.

I’ve been burned – four different people have taken my picture and Photoshopped me to within an inch of my life. It really hurt my feelings all four times.

I know I’m not perfect, please don’t try and paint me that way.

Perhaps the reason I like photographing other people so much is because I want to show them how pretty they are even when they don’t believe it. I know how to make them feel comfortable (or at least I hope I do) and I know what humans are supposed to look like, and it’s not dolls.

This is the reason a majority of the photos you see of me are by me. It’s also the reason I don’t have a single family picture with all four of us in the same frame. I don’t trust anyone else. It’s sad really, here I am always claiming that any photo is better than none, but I know my family and I know what we’re like, if another photographer who didn’t know us took our photo and missed the complete essence of us? I’d be devastated.

(Hey Casey! YOU HAVE TRUST ISSUES!)

It’s really hard to pay someone else a lot of money to take your picture when you know what you’re doing. I wonder if that’s how dentists feel when they have to go in for an exam.

23 weeks.

Oddly enough, this is one of my favorite pictures, everything about it says exactly what I was feeling when I took it. Pictures tell stories, and oh is there a story to this one.

There’s a lot more to photographing humans than owning a nice camera and knowing how to use it. It takes someone who understands people, which is why some photographers are SPECTACULAR at taking pictures of things, but blow at taking pictures of people. It’s also why I can’t take a decent landscape to save my life. Landscapes don’t laugh.

So there you go.

I don’t like having my picture taken.

But I do it anyway.

Because I want these little people to remember me always, no matter what I looked like.

addie and me.

hallmark card shower

Nothing makes me happier than seeing a photo I took of someone as a profile photo or avatar. I means I did something somebody liked, that I captured them. (I took hers, hers, hers, hers, hers, hers and hers just to name a few.)

Comments

  1. I get it…I’m the same way, for the same reasons. Unfortunately I haven’t been lucky enough to find someone whom I trusst…at least you have two awesome photographers who do…jealous.

  2. Will you take mine one day? You are so beautiful!! XOXO

    Bridget Reply:

    @AmazingGreis, Me, too!

  3. dude this rocks

  4. i hear you. instagram has helped me a lot. now for petes sake…will you just take mine? alone? without a million others? i will shower you with earrings :)

  5. I ohsototally get this…but girl! Pick up Shireen and go outside in this gorgeous weather and y’all get some family pictures! Your beautiful family has too much personality to NOT be photographed! :-)

  6. I still use one on Facebook you took in 2010. I tried to change it about a month ago. It didn’t feel right…I changed it back. :)

  7. andrea z says:

    My mom was looking through my photos last month and she saw the one you took of me (super excited, giving the thumbs-up before Rascal Flatts) And she said to me: This photo sums up your personality *exactly*. And she’s right. A rare talent you have, friend.

  8. Ughhhh, I hate having my picture taken. Last year one of my friends yelled at me (well, as “yelling” as it gets on Skype) for hiding in all the (in)courage pictures from our fall trip. She was right. I WAS hiding – in the back, off to the side, not even in the shot at all. I’m not a professional photog by any means, but I do love capturing people. I just don’t like letting anyone capture me. So you are totally right and we all have our things. But I get this one of yours, for sure.

    Also, I never would have guessed this about you. Every photo I’ve seen of you is drop-dead gorgeous. I’ve truly thought that so many times. Mwah!

  9. Jamie In Indy says:

    Your are breathtakingly beautiful! Inside and out.

  10. I have gotten to the point where I am the same way. It’s more of, I know exactly how I’m going to look best in a picture, so I feel like I should take it myself.

    We all have stuff we dislike about our bodies, but it’s what makes us unique. Me? When I smile big, my gums are revealed and I hate it, but I love my smile that way, so I deal.

  11. Ugh, I so hate having my picture taken. hence why there are so very few pictures of me…period. I still dream of you taking my picture so I may use it as my avatar…

    But you are beautiful and I do adore your selfies every time. You do know how to capture people, and yourself. :)

  12. Having someone take your photo is more intimate than having them see you naked, and yet, I find that I hunt for photos of me because I’m fascinated by trying to discover how people “see” me. Hint: it’s never how I see myself…
    One of my fondest wishes is to one day have you take my picture Casey. I just know that you would be the only other person other than my husband who would help me see myself as beautiful in a photo.

  13. Dude, get one of your hers, get a shutter release or get a timer. Just get your four in that frame.
    That baby of yours will be a toddler in about half a second. That gorgeous, gangly little girl, a teenager.
    Memorex the moment while the gettings good.

  14. The trust issues I get. You’re a pro, who else would be as good as you at taking pictures? But beauty? Casey, my gosh you are gorgeous! I only know parts of your life you’ve shared with us, many of them painful. Knowing the struggles you have faced makes your smile all the more amazing. I don’t see the spotty teeth. I don’t see the squinty eye. I see a lady who grins like a kid, has nary a wrinkle and the bluest eyes set against perfectly creamy skin. You. Are. Gorgeous. (and I have a hard time saying that to other girls….)

  15. If it makes you feel better, we don’t have a shot of the five of us either. :)

    I absolutely love this. and I sort of get it. While I would kill to have ANYONE take my picture ever (because no one ever does) I don’t really trust anyone to photograph MY KIDS other than ME. I always feel like when other people take photos of them…the shots never look like THEM. They are technically lovely, but they just don’t look like MY KIDS. If that makes sense?

  16. Sunshine says:

    Please to take our pictures again, yes?

  17. I’m the same way, but oddly enough, the only time my picture is ever taken is at blogging conferences. And that’s the other downside – if I didn’t take my picture myself, it wouldn’t occur to anyone else to do it.

    Must come to indy to be captured by Casey. :)

  18. I USED to not…because I was very overweight. I’ve recently lost close to 80 pounds and am trying to get used to it. I’m very selective about what I put out there for everyone to see..but I do want my kids to have photographs of me when I’m gone. I love the way you explain this though. You are so very beautiful Casey, you have nothing to worry about!

  19. I just discovered you and your blog a few weeks ago and I love it because I can relate to so many of the topics you write about. I love your beautiful honesty! Kudos to you!

  20. I love puns.

    That aside, one of my best friends takes our pictures. She is the ONLY person I will go to. She has a way to make me laugh and see that I am a beautiful person even when I don’t think I am. She captures the sparkle in all of our eyes. She somehow makes the love and joy we have tangible in a photograph.

    That being said, having you take our pictures is on my bucket list.

    You are amazing.

  21. This is so spot on. I love how you see my boys through your lens because you capture their personality every single time. A rare talent indeed. Hope you can find that someone that will be able to do the same for you.

  22. Tiffany says:

    Love that last pic!

  23. So the fair pic I took of you is one of my favorites. I’m not sure you knew I was taking it. I’m not sure you know what picture I’m talking about. But I kinda love it. And no photoshop because I don’t know how to photoshop. Remember how you took a picture of me from behind while I was pregnant with twins and it still looked great? I TRUST you.

  24. I also hate having my photo taken. I’m overweight and I hate to look at how fat I am in a photo. So, I’m always behind the camera. What’s odd is that I have friends and family that are overweight, but when I photograph them all I see is their natural beauty.

    I wonder why I can’t see my own natural beauty?

  25. Melissa says:

    HAIR TRICK!! I want to know the hair trick in that last picture. (Uh, no, that isn’t all I got from the post, but still.)

    Casey Reply:

    @Melissa, Um, just braid a braid down one side of your head? I go from my part to behind my ear, the just throw it all up in a ponytail. It’s freshly painted so it probably looks far more impressive that it actually is (it’s my lazy hair.) I have a really good hair painter.

  26. I’m the same, not because I do it well, but because no one else (I’ve encountered thus far) does either. I have only a couple of pictures of myself that I like, outside of my wedding day.

  27. Carolyn says:

    What I find so interesting is that you are so highly photogenic. Your personality absolutely shines through in every single photo I have seen of you.

  28. I hate having my photo taken, even if it is by someone who knows what they’re doing. I’ve gotten pretty good at selfless and every once in a while actually like one or two.

    I love your photos. You are beautiful inside and out and it shows.

  29. You are beautiful!

    I hate getting my picture taken by someone else. Except maybe my husband (and I’m not talking bad pictures) because he knows me and knows how to capture me.

  30. I have always wondered who took the photos of you. If you were some how jumping around setting timers and taking them yourself. Because their fabulous, you must teach me how to take photos of myself. (Because I never really like how I look when other’s do it — though you have never taken mine! =D )

  31. I agree. I don’t really trust anyone taking our pictures except Jon. He is such a great photographer. All of our Christmas photos have been taken with a timer. I don’t think we will ever have anyone take our picture.

  32. crystal says:

    oh man. i feel ya. it’s a hard life being a photographer, and wanting good pictures of yourself. i’m lucky enough to be able to edit the originals my 2 best photographer friends have done for me in the past. We recently had my husband’s extended family’s pictures done, and i was sooo disappointed at the retouching. I have distinguishing moles on my cheekbone that I have just recently embraced (within the last few years), and one on my forhead that I still hate. Well guess what… he got rid of the ones on my face and left the one on my forehead. I hate knowing that someone was zoomed in that close on my face, determining and judging what was ok and what wasn’t… mostly what WASN’T.
    But if it’s any consolation, I think you’re gorgeous :)

  33. I too, shun getting my picture taken. I turn away from the camera, put up my hand, block myself from view. I’m not a bad looking person (IMO) but I photograph so poorly. I have gouges that run from the corners of my mouth to my chin, and my lips are too thin. I just look craggy and ugly in photographs. Oh – and I have a squinky eye too. I’d love to have profession pics taken sometime but eh, I’ll get away with none for now.

  34. jessica says:

    That is probably my all-time favorite picture of yours. It says so much and is just beautiful.

  35. I feel you. I am not photogenic. at all but I LOVE being behind the camera. It’s my happy place. BTW you’re photographing my wedding. Once I like… find a man and whatnot…

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  1. [...] even know I could look that good. If I ever become wildly famous she’s coming with me. She balanced out my squinky eye (which she renamed my ‘sultry eye‘) and made me [...]