Last Thursday night on the way home from shopping she finally said it.
“I wish we could give Vivi back.”
The left half of me shriveled with sadness while the right half of me shrugged and thought “Can’t blame you, kid.”
Addie and I were an inseparable team before Vivi came along, she had me all to herself and the only person or thing she really had to share me with was Cody on occasion. I realize that Vivi isn’t wholly to blame for Addie’s statement. I work a lot more, travel a lot more and make it a priority to spend more time with her dad. Yes, Vivi keeps us from going to movies, staying out late on weekend nights and spending all day at the pool, but I think we all realize that the joy Vivi brings us individually and as a family is worth the few years of baby inconvenience.
When Cody and I told Addie that I was pregnant she broke into tears and said “BUT I DON’T WANT A BABY!” She went to bed crying and I went to bed feeling horrible that I had wanted so badly to give her a baby sister and here I had gone and ruined her life. The next morning she ran to my side of the bed, threw back the covers and began asking “WHERE IS IT? CAN I FEEL IT? IS YOUR BELLY ANY BIGGER? WHEN IS IT GOING TO BE HERE? WHAT IS IT? CAN I TOUCH IT?” Any thoughts she had the night before about babies being horrible things were forgotten and replaced with outrageous excitement.
I hugged Addie extra hard when we got home and sent her to bed knowing I how much I loved her and that I was taking on less responsibility over the summer to make sure I was able to spend as much time possible with her during her summer vacation. Her words hung in the air all night “I wish we could give Vivi back.” They weren’t said out of anger or spite, and I could tell it hurt her to say them. She just wanted more time with me, and I assured her there was absolutely nothing wrong with that and that as we settled into a routine things would get better, we would find our new normal.
In the morning I woke up to shrieking giggles from the monitor, only it wasn’t just from Vivi, it was from the both of them greeting each other still warm from sleep with fuzzy bedhead. Addie pulled Vivi out of her crib and into the rocking chair where she began reading Dr. Seuss to her as I laid in bed listening.
These two, they’re going to be just fine.
We all will be.
As I mentioned before, my responsibilities and obligations will be changing over the next month. I’ll be joining the Disney Baby blogging team next month and look forward to sharing these kinds of stories and experiences with you here several more times throughout the month before beginning over there full time at the end of June. This post is sponsored by Disney Baby.