Lately Vivi is OBSESSED with stickers. You can usually find one either in her hand or somewhere on her body at all times. This is an important part of the story we’ll get back to, but first:
Here’s a list of things I don’t particularly like doing in order of dislike:
1. Pap smears.
3. Bra fittings.
My mom swears that someday mammogram will creep its way right to the top but for now, let’s just focus on #3 since that’s what went down in a Nordstrom dressing room yesterday. You see, I’ve been wearing the bra I bought when I was pregnant with Vivi (the 34F, remember that one?) for the past few
months weeks I’ve noticed that my breasts would actually be capable of doing the breaststroke in my bra if they actually had arms. It was time for new bras. Aww, back to regular old boob sizes for me. I prepared myself for Cody’s inevitable disappointment at my average sized fun bags.
“Last time I was fit I was 7 months pregnant and a 34F. Since then I’ve had a baby and lost a bunch of weight, GO!”
As I undressed, I looked down and realized there was a blue seal sticker nestled right in my cleavage. Remember Vivi and her sticker obsession? Well her obsession found its way into my bra.
“So, there’s a sticker on my boob, that has to be a new one, right?”
“Yes ma’am, that’s a new one.”
She measured me, stepped out and returned with a few different bras and as I slipped into the first one I remembered why I put myself through this, there they were! Sitting high and at attention! HELLO LADIES! HOW HAVE YOU BEEN!?
“That’s the stuff!” I proclaimed “What size am I now?”
“32F, the 34 would be way too big, but this one looks perfect!”
“F? As in abcdeEFF? How is that even POSSIBLE!?”
“Honey, you’re all breast tissue with almost no fat, that stuff doesn’t go anywhere, those are here to stay.”
YAY! And whoa.
When I hear 32F I think porn star, not Midwestern mom of 2. I may be an F cup, but you guys? Without a bra they are…well. They are simply big mounds of flesh. HOWEVER! When I pour these big mounds of flesh into a proper and well fitting bra? BOOM. We’ve all heard that we can fudge our bra size by going down a cup size and up a band size. TO THIS I SAY BALDERDASH.
Point: 34DD bra (1st and 3rd photos) vs. 32F bra (2nd and 4th photos)
The only difference between these two pictures? One is the right size! As long as we’re being honest, the 34DD is padded, the 32F is just molded! If that doesn’t convince you to get thee to a bra fit specialist I’m not sure what will. Mandy had been wearing a 38C for years, when she was fit? 32DDD. Amy was wearing a 38D and walked out with a 34C. HOW MANY OF YOU ARE WEARING THE WRONG SIZE BRA!? I mean, you can make just about any pair of too big shoes fit with enough pairs of socks, but how crummy do they look? And if your shoes are too small? Chances are you’re super uncomfortable.
SAME WITH BRAS LADIES!
There’s rumor of bra vanity sizing, which is probably true, but vanity size or not, when’s the last time you were fit by someone who knows bras? If you’ve just been buying the same size you’ve been buying since high school you probably don’t even know what you’re missing out on! When you are an uncommon or *blessed* size, bras are hard to find and are often expensive. Take care of them and they will serve you well, it’s also an immediate way to look 10 pounds thinner, with just a well fitting bra! Money well spent I say!
I have been using way too many !!! throughout this post. Apologies.
As a final tale to convince you to take your top off for a woman with a measuring tape, I took Vivi with me to my fitting. She was playing with the stroller when her legs went between the footrest and seat and the whole stroller tipped backwards taking Vivi up off the ground like a one sided teeter totter. The saleswoman attempted to help her but Vivi lost her mind because the saleswoman wasn’t me so I ended up reaching over the saleswoman to pull Vivi out while she held the stroller, oh and allow me to I mention I was completely topless while the whole scene went down.
If I can survive that, you can survive one little fitting that will make a big ol’ difference in your life (assuming you leave all toddlers at home and check your cleavage for stickers before taking your top off, just watching out for you.)
Want to know more about bra fittings? This is probably the best article ever for that very topic.
How about you? Any good bra fitting stories for me?