Saturday – Hang out with Shireen, eat copious amounts of food and leave our server Shireen’s number because I know fireworks when I see ‘em. Come home, terrible things happen to my stomach but I keep them hidden because as far as Cody is concerned nothing terrible ever happens to my digestive tract. Keep calm, carry on. Uh-oh. Sulfur burps. Gross. I mean honestly, is there anything grosser? Fall asleep fitfully, sleep terribly from stomach discomfort.
Sunday – Sleep in (thank you) awake to Cody mumbling “You need to be with the girls. I have a stomachache.” Oh dear. Two down. Kind of want to say something snide to Cody about the flushable wet wipes he makes fun of me for buying, realize now is not the time. Somewhat uneventful day, realize through twitter and Facebook it seems as though EVERYONE has or has had stomachflupocalypse. Perhaps Saturday night was the worst of it for me and Sunday the worst for Cody?
Monday – Normal day, bit of a rumble in my tummy but nothing major. Urban hunting and gathering at Costco and Nordstrom Rack. Normal night. Cody has recovered.
Tuesday – Wake up and realize I’m not doing better, dry heave a few times because dry heaving is totally amazing (not.) Rely on horizontal parenting from the floor and Sesame Street to keep everyone happy and out of the knife drawer. At night Addie sulfur burps ten feet away from me, “Addie? Do you feel okay?” turns out the kid has felt horrible, barfed in private because she didn’t want to bother me and is having backend issues as well. Three down. (This is where I mention that Vivi is the one that started all of this last week, she’s exempt from this terrible list.)
Wednesday - Addie sleeps in, feels better. I ask Cody to take Vivi to daycare so I can catch up on SO MUCH WORK. As soon as they leave a wave of nausea hits me. “Oh no.” Vomit. Crash on the couch. Wake up at noon. Attempt to eat, realize eating was a horrible idea, vomit, crash back on the couch until 3. Try to watch TV but realize that would involve sitting up to get the remote, I don’t watch TV. Cody brings home pizza, I manage to eat a little something bland, surely the worst has passed.
Thursday – The worst has not passed. Sobbing is involved as soon as I awake. Vomit, so much vomit. I have a bruise on my forehead from where I smacked it on the faucet in the midst of a terribly powerful heave (fun fact: while pregnant I learned that when it comes to dry heaving and/or vomiting bile the kitchen sink is a much more accommodating place to toss cookies (or lack thereof in this case.) Realize I cannot parent. Call Cody. Call the doctor. Cody takes Vivi to daycare (bless you drop in daycare) and I collapse on the couch. Call confirming a prescription of Zofran comes at 1, beg Cody to pick it up for me at 1:01. Zofran on board around 1:13 and *knock on wood* so far so good.
Zofran. Bless you Zofran and bless you Dr. C for giving it to me.
Drop in daycare. Seriously. When you don’t have family or friends around? Drop in daycare is pretty much the best thing ever.
Cody’s job. He’s five minutes away and the pharmacy is right between his office and our house.
My job. One instance where work from home wins everything.
I am really good at vomiting. All that practice from pregnancy, you know? So while I may hate it, it’s really no big deal as long as I’m not expected to be a functioning human being.
Birth control. Yeah, I haven’t been this sick outside of pregnancy ever. But what I went through yesterday and today would be considered normal days during pregnancy. Guess who’s staying on birth control for a REALLY LONG TIME? This girl, right here.
Cats. Wink and Percy have probably had the best three days ever, a warm body to sleep on for at least 18 hours out of the day? I’m such a cat person and I love mine dearly.
So how about you and yours? Have you made it through the stomach flu of 2012/2013 or are you next?