Last week Cody took Vivi into the restroom at a restaurant so she could do her business. When she was done, he asked her to stand with her nose in the corner so he could do his as well.

Afterwards she burst out of the restroom and shouted “DAD DIDN’T SIT DOWN AND HE PEED OUT OF HIS BELLYBUTTON!” as soon as she saw me.

Threenager.

Last night on FaceTime she asked my dad if he was pregnant.

She also currently hates trees. (She has for awhile, one evening she simply got out of the car, looked around and said “I hate trees.” Her position has yet to change.)

She blames all of her farts on the cat, even at two a.m.

She is terrified of spiders and believes that any injury or illness is called an ‘ankle’.

We’re all headed out on a cruise next week in order to answer the question that has been plaguing Cody and me since our first cruise, can you actually leave a cruise relaxed if you have a toddler in tow? (Specifically a toddler like Vivi?)

She woke me up by throwing (her clean) underwear at my head and screaming “MOM I’M HUNGRY.” this morning.

I WISH I WAS THIS EXCITED ABOUT SWIMSUIT SEASON! (suit from H&M)

I took both girls to the library this afternoon, and without getting too specific — Vivi has had some trouble when it comes to potty training. Today I was the mom who had to pull her toddler out of the children’s section of the library, as she screamed and sobbed “I don’t want to go!” I knew she had had an accident, and in an effort to keep drama to a minimum I didn’t fully survey the damage before heading straight for the restrooms at the front of the building. It wasn’t until we made it to the front (after walking by dozens of people) that I realized her accident had made a much bigger mess than I had ever anticipated. Add in the fact that she insisted on keeping her skirt above her head as we walked out…and I’m really sorry to anyone who was at the library today.

*insert defeated sigh*

It was one of those moments when I want to tell those who choose to be child-free, “YOU MADE A FINE CHOICE FOR YOURSELF. I ENVY THAT YOU WILL NEVER BE COVERED IN POO AT THE PUBLIC LIBRARY.”

Tonight that little toad crawled into my lap smelling of soap and cookies and said “You’re the best, mom.” and I thought “You know what? I kind of am.” and I realized that even though I don’t love this job all the time, it at least has enough perks to keep me around.

Her eyebrows more accurately represent what's lurking inside her, not that impish grin and button nose. #WolfInToddlerClothing #WatchOutBoyShellChewYouUp

Comments

  1. Darn those kids for being so hilariously cute. The things they come up with at that age!! I’m still dying over the bathroom story!

  2. My son used to call injuries ankles too!! It just went away at age 4. So cute. Poop in the pants, not as cute.

  3. Sounds like we’re kind of in the same place as far as potty-training. (We’re *mostly* done, but… yeah. Not 100% reliable.)

    Lucy thinks it’s hilarious to stick some small toy in her underpants so it makes a visible lump, then yell, “OH NO! I pooped!” And as soon as someone goes to change her & finds the toy, she laughs and runs away.

    I will be cracking up forever about “peed out of his belly button.”

  4. My goodnes. We see the humor in it later, don’t we? It can never be said that your child is not spirited. She sure is.

  5. I remember thinking a couple of months after Eden turned four, “My heart doesn’t race and my palms don’t sweat when I have to take the kids to the grocery store by myself anymore!” It was the most liberating feeling, knowing the toddler years were finally over. FOREVER.
    Someday you, too, will know that joy. Until then be as strong as you can and travel with lots and lots of wipes.

  6. She is so beautiful. And whoa, you caught my exact feelings on being a mom. It’s awesome and horrible, but it has enough perks to keep me around.

    Also, mine are teen/tweens so while it gets better, it also….doesn’t change much, but there is significantly less poop.

  7. Hilarious bathroom story. Er, the Cody one, not the library one. My girl used to put her two index fingers out and point them at the toilet and say “I pee with fingers!”

  8. Stephanie says:

    My 2.5 year old sounds similar to Vivi. We’re going on a long plane ride in November for the first time since the Walt Disney World debacle of September 2013, and my husband and I are terrified. She is adorable, but she is awful to travel with. She’s kind of a terror all around these days. Our older daughter (5) is the complete opposite. Hoping it gets better.

  9. Oh, those eyes! She is adorable! I have had similar experiences with my youngest! She is 7 now, but when she was that age she did lots of those same things! Who am I kidding she still does some of those things. (Thankfully not the potty issues at the library, but she did do that at the library once. Not fun! Although it happens more than you can imagine. I’m a Children’s Librarian. Something about the library is relaxing I guess!) She is definitely a character and one of a kind! And I wouldn’t change it for the world- most of the time! :)

  10. My son peed an amount of pee that I can only compare to a river in a both at McDonalds two nights ago. ::face palm:: And I thought we were doing so well! hahaha

  11. Your child is a mess, and I love her! As someone who has chosen to be child-free, I enjoy hearing the stories of those who haven’t.

    And to Amanda, who says that something about the library is relaxing, I think it’s the smell of paper/books. Bookstores and libraries make me have to poop quite frequently. And don’t even get me started on craft stores!

  12. hahaha I feel your potty training pain going through it with my little 3 year old

  13. I have my own little Vivi and have to say that your stories have made me giggle… A.LOT… She sounds like a colorful, energetic and absolutely fantastic handful that we parents love, and cringe over… yet… wouldn’t have any other way! Love reading your life stories!

  14. Love this so much. I think your Vivi and my Sophie are soul mates. Three going on sixty with a big side of silly.

  15. I am not ready for Vivi’s legs to be wrinkle crease and roll free.

  16. Oh, Casey this is just what I needed to read today. I bad day at work, a stressful night at home. Both of the bathroom stories got me laughing. Thank you for sharing. Potty training is pure hell! If we only have one kid and I only have to do it once it will be too much. . . she is 5 and still in night time pull ups – - – 2 1/2 years of potty training and I am not quite done yet. GOOD LUCK!!!