moosh in indy.

My favorite blogger has always been and I dare say always will be Metalia. If you do not read her, go read this post, come back and you’ll know why I adore her so.

If you do read her?

Enjoy this-what happens when an overtired Jew and a punchy Mormon stay on chat too late.

************************************

M: How WAS the Hallmark thing, btw? (Asking about the day I spent touring Hallmark world headquarters in Kansas City last month.)

C: Amazing. I want to have its babies.

M: Yeah?

C: When Gabi says “Casey sort of fainted when she encountered this room. ” she meant “Casey sort of died when she encountered this room.” My dream is to work there. Ironically Kansas City is where we wanted to end up in the first place.

M: MAKE IT HAPPEN. You are one of those people that seems to be able to do that.

C: And then i can have hallmark babies and send everyone Hallmark cards about them.

M: DO IT DO IT DO IT “So, you’ve gotten into your first fender bender!” “Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day” etc., etc.

C: “There really are some days kids are only good for tax deductions!”

M: HA! “You know what you do for a pulled groin? Nothing. Feel better…whenever”
Okay, so maybe that one’s not the best
But someone in my office just pulled his groin!

C: it made me lol.

M: What card do I send him, Casey? THERE ARE NO PULLED GROIN CARDS!

C: “You make me LOL when no one else can, Happy Anniversary.” “If a blogger LOLS and there is no keyboard to type with, DID IT REALLY HAPPEN?”

M: There should be twitter-centric cards, too. “If I could follow you 10 times, I would. Happy Valentine’s Day, lover.”
“Sorry you only got five comments on that last post, Blogger. You’ll get StumbledUpon soon!”

C: “I love you enough NOT to send an e-card…cherish me.”
“Don’t let the fail whale get you down, sport!”

M: “I want to retweet our love for all the world to see.” So, basically, what I’m saying here is that you and I should MAKE OUR OWN GREETING CARD COMPANY.

C: NO KIDDING. etsy here we come.

M: PEOPLE WOULD BUY THEM, I don’t know if that’s sad or not, but whatever.

C: I KNOW. I’ll make a potato stamp of the twitter bird!

M: I have ribbon, so.

C: I have a graphic design degree!

M: I have…still, just some ribbon
but it’s pretty!
pretty ribbon!

C: never underestimate ribbon, hallmark had frillions of ribbons. FRILLIONS!

M: And also, I can do calligraphy. Frillions, you say?

C: I have good handwriting…

M: We should do this, this might be my sleep deprivation talking, but STILL.

*****

Who wants to be our first customer?

(Oh, and my legs from the other day? Me being too lazy to unpack my big girl razor and instead using the disposable two blade razor which was readily available, and also which was apparently half bloodthirsty vampire.)

Hmm.

So I had this brilliant idea to do NaBloPoMo this month. (You know, where I post everyday for a month?)

It’s good for me, I’m always happy when I do it.

But it’s only May 2nd, it’s 10:52 PM and I’ve spent the last ten minutes staring at a blinking cursor.

Oddly enough I made an awful lot of you you giggly and uncomfortable yesterday with the whole birds and the bees talk. A lot of you emailed me privately to voice your concerns about the transation of First Corinthians Chapter 7 Verse 5 that Diaper Diaries uses in her challenge. In my religion we read from and study out of the King James Version of the bible and the translation Diaper Diaries gave is from the New Living Translation of the bible.

SO YOU WANNA FIGHT BIBLE STYLE DO YA?

Tough.

Because I don’t.

No matter what religion you’re a part of or not a part of (*most*) babies are only going to get here one way.

I was just lauding the glories of loving the one your with. Regulary.

SO. Now that we got religion and sex out of the way in the first two days of May, anything else you want to know?

I do know this person in real life, however all identifying references have been removed. (If you’d like to out yourself man, be my guest but I’m going to respect your privacy as not all the internet is as forgiving as others.) I share this with you because I’ve found that a lot of people put pressure on other people to find God, once they finally do they are told they found the wrong God because it’s not their God. This chat occurred last night after a tweet about my disdain for BYU.

Man:
Man from MyBlog here, are you there?
Casey:
yup
Man:
wanna here my thoughts? are should i leave you be?
Casey:
about me being a bad person? I’m totally interested.
Man:
oh, so you already know? : )that helps
Casey:
are you kidding me?
Man:
well, i am right now
Casey:
a lot gets lost in translation in 140 characters or less.
Man:
but i stopped following you because i think you use cheapness to garner attention
Casey:
that’s your opinion and you’re entitled to it.
Man:
indeed it is
and i read enuf on your blog to wonder why you would call yourself LDS
you might guess i’m totally against LDS…but
Casey:

are you sure you’re reading the right blog?

Man:

if you are gonna say that’s what you believe it ought to show. yeah, the one i read had to do with gays
Casey:
I love all people.
Man:
it was a while back, i even made a comment. i love all people too
Casey:
the prop 8 post?
Man:
probably but wait…you use sex a lot in your posts to excite
Casey:
I really don’t…
Man:
that’s not an approved Biblical concept there
Casey:
I’m not even sure I’ve used the word sex in any post of mine.
Man:
you probably haven’t, but c’mon
Casey:
It is and approved biblical concept that I make out with my husband.
Did your wife ever experience infertility?
Or anyone close to you?
Man:
i even remember when we met at [that thing we met at], and i saw you twittering in the big room…
hang on – short phone call, almost done if you’re still there
Casey:
I’m sorry that you think I’m cheap.  Or that I gave you the wrong impression, but who I am online is who I am in real life. Whether you like it or not, nobody’s opinion of me will ever change who I am unless it’s my opinion or God’s.
I’m not sure what you’re trying to accomplish.
No one forces you to read my blog or my tweets.

Man:

it would be a lot easier to have a conversation about this, but i don’t think that’s what you’d wanna do.  mostly i’d just like to encourage you to take a serious look at God’s word and compare that to how you think…
i’m not here to bash you, but you words are not in line with Biblical teaching…
you can get mad at me if you want
but you need to hear that
Casey:
I’m not mad, I just don’t argue about God, what works for me doesn’t work for you and vice versa and that’s fine.
Man:
for YOUR good, not mine
Casey:
And that’s fine.
Man:
not really fine, either one, or both of us is wrong
Casey:
What does it matter if we are both happy with our lives?
Man:
cuz happy don’t get you to Heaven, you might be happy and go to heaven…but i sure wouldn’t trade happy here for Hell
and before you get mad, i’m not saying you are going to hell…i don’t have any way to know
Casey:
I’m not going to hell, neither are you…
Man:
ok, but why do you think you are not? do you wanna try a short skype call?
Casey:
I don’t understand why it’s so important to you?
If you don’t like the LDS religion wouldn’t you rather me be out there perpetuating your negative image of my chosen faith?
Man:
do you remember that i run the pro-life music fest?
Casey:
I do remember that, a worthy cause.
Man:
no, i want you to go to Heaven
Casey:
I am going to heaven.
Man:
LDS won’t get you there
Casey:
It will get me there, and my family will be there too.
Man:
well, then it seems to me that you don’t believe the Bible and you are more than free to not believe, it just comes with consequences
Casey:
I do believe…is this based soley on the prop 8 post?
Man:
no, not at all
Casey:
I mean the last post I did was about my difficulties in trying to have a baby, the one before that was about feeding hungry children. I had one about how much I love my husband and my child.
Man:
so, good cancels bad? no sin if you do enuf good?
Casey:
I just don’t get what I write about that is so offensive to you?
Man:
that’s noy Biblical
Casey:
I don’t get where my glaring sins come through on my blog, yes I have them, but who are you to judge? I leave the Judging up to Jesus. As it should be. Why are you so worried about my salvation anyway? I’ve got it figured out for me.
Man:
as do i, but the Bible clearly teaches that we should confront those who say they believe but aren’t walking as they should
Casey:
I love my life.
Man:
that’s not judging
Casey:
Ah ha…well. my blog is 1/16th of my actual ife.
Man:
God is the only one who can judge, i have no power
Casey:
if you only see 1/16th of my actual life (if even that) I’m pretty sure I’m good.
Man:
no one is good, certainly not me
Casey:
me nither, but I do my best from sun up to sundown.
Man:
that’s the problem, we are all headed to Hell, unless…
Casey:
I slip sometimes.
Man:
unless we find the way that leads to Heaven
Casey:
That’s the difference, we are not all headed to hell.
Man:
and that’s only thru Christ
Casey:
we are headed to different degrees of heaven. I can send you some missionaries to explain it to you…
Man:
we are all born headed for Hell, you don’t agree?
Casey:
nope. where’s the hope in that?
Man:
you don’t seem to know much about the Bible the hope is only in Christ
Casey:
you don’t seem to know much about my faith.
Man:
that’s the point!
Casey:
so why not let me worship as I please?
Man:
you can, i care enuf to converse tho, if you want me to leave, i will
Casey:
I’m not changing my faith on the opinion of anyone.
Man:
didn’t expect you would…but i did hope to challenge your thoughts and to do so in love
Casey:
what religion do you consider yourself?
Man:
Christian
Casey:
what denomination?
Man:
not a denomination
Casey:
OH. well
Man:
there aren’t any in the Bible it’s all about Christ
Casey:
the name of my church is the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
He’s in the name, yo.
Man:
denominations are like clubs to people these days
Casey:
well, I like my “club”
Man:
yeah, i know, i was one when i was akid
Casey:
LDS? or in a club
Man:
but Christ is not at the center of LDS
Casey:
he totally is.
Man:
and that’s easy to research
Casey:
if you only look for what you want to look for.
Man:
not the Christ of the Bible…they’ve made a different one – similar but different
Casey:
my husband keeps telling me this is never going to end.
Man:
probably right
Casey:
You are a child of God, I am a child of God, Jesus loves you, Jesus loves me, please respect me because I respect you.
Man:
well, that certainly takes the “i’m a sinner and need salvation” part out of it all
Casey:
That’s not what I said…
Man:
that’s usually what people wanna leave out and that’s the pivot point
Casey
Man, goodnight.
Man:
well, i haven’t been mean or nasty
Casey:
I haven’t said you have been.

Man:
so i hope that speaks to you
Casey:
I hope I haven’t been either.
Man:
and, i did just what you said, i stopped following you
Casey:
I appreciate your concern in sharing your opinion.
Man:
that’s what started this
Casey:
People unfollow me everyday.
Man:
but i do wish you would want to talk about all this
Casey
People send me nasty letters when they find out my choice of religion.
Man:
that’s not why i left
Casey:
They like me up until they find out why I’m “one of them” I like being “one of them”
Man:
it’s because you use the weakness of human nature to puff you up and that’s cheap
Casey:
the weakness of human nature?
Man:

just as i said, our sinful nature
Casey:
that BYU stinks?
Man:
your posts appeal to our sinful nature a lot, that’s my point
Casey:
There’s a lot of other bloggers who need a lot more help than me.
Wha?
Man:
why would someone wanting to please God do that? yes there are, but i only know you
Casey:
allow me to introduce you to a few…
Man:
you do remember me from [that place we met], right?
Casey:
I do remember you
Man:
you sat at my table in the big room
Casey:
yes. and we sat along the wall and talked about your concerts
Man:
and then at the meeting in the evening, yeah, so, i met you, maybe for a reason
Casey:
or maybe I met you for a reason.
Man:
maybe
Casey:
I want to spend friday evening with my husband, Man.
Man:
but i can tell you that i have experienced Christ in a way that gives me the strength to say you can put a bullet in my head, I will never deny Him
Casey:
Same here, goodnight Man.
Man:
i honestly doubt it…. have agreat eve

Now, I may not spend every waking moment and every word bringing people and glory to God in obvious ways, but I’m pretty confident in saying I’ve never scared anyone away from Him.

I’m leaving comments open as long as everyone can play nice. No name calling. If you must name call tell me what color your bedsheets are instead.

“Dear Heavenly Father, we are very thankful for this day and that I could play dress up with my friend. Please bless that we could have a baby sister and a crib to put her in. Be sure to give it to my mom when it gets here. Please bless that Santa Claus will be safe and…MOM! HEY! WHY ARE YOU SMILING?”

“Because I love you too much.”

“Oh, okay…in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.”

Could I have picked a more tense time to come to California?

Nope.

Want to see the formal Church response to all this “stuff?” Go here.

Cody is well versed in the laws that are in question as far as the church being a not for profit organization, and a religion’s legal right to get involved in politics. Also an individual’s legal right to be involved in politics. And I’ll let him explain that at a later date if needs be.

As much as I want to scream and yell about this, I’m not going to because I know it’s gut reaction to all the hate that is floating out there in the news and on the internet. I can see both sides. Really, I can. I’m writing this from the dining room of my cousin who has been with his partner for over 10 years.

I have seen plenty of GLBT families who have their crap together WAY more than hetero married couples.  If I had it my way, no one, gay or straight would be allowed to get married unless they were going to take their vows seriously.

I realize a lot of my readers look to me as the token Mormon in situations like this.

Yes, members of my church were involved in the “Yes on 8″ campaign. So were the Catholics.

“The Catholic bishops ask that you offer your support for restoring the definition of marriage in California by volunteering your time for the campaign or by donating money to the campaign to pass Proposition 8.”-From California Catholic Conference

However, there have been Anthrax threats, mysterious envelopes with white powder sent to two LDS temples. Protests and attacks (not just at churches of my faith either.) There are letters to editors in multiple papers calling for the harm of members of the LDS/Mormon faith.

Had “No on 8″ been the winner, I’d like to think that hoards of Christians (especially people of my faith) wouldn’t be hanging out in West Hollywood, Hillcrest and Castro shouting mean and horrible things or sending letters with potentially deadly contents to places held near and dear to those of the GLBT community.

How would you feel if that situation were reversed?

We (the Mormons) are not the reason “Yes on 8″ went through. Some (members) did help with donations and volunteer efforts (on their own time with individual donations), but 52% of voters in California are not LDS. In fact, according one one site, less than 2% of Californians are LDS.

Did you know that “No on 8″ actually raised more money than “Yes on 8?” Of the $73 million raised, $55 million came from Californians, the remaining coming from out of state donations,

“About 30 percent,or $22 million, of the donations reported by supporters and opponents of Proposition 8 have come from outside the state, according to an analysis by The Associated Press.”

$3.6 million of that money came from Utah.

So despite the way the media wants you to see it, the state of Utah and Mormons didn’t exactly mortgage out their houses to support Prop 8.

I’m not saying either party is right.

I’m just saying it’s no one organization’s fault that “Yes on 8″ passed either.

I’m just asking that we stop pointing fingers and start getting along.

I know my cousin and his partner are embarrassed by the displays put on by SOME of the GLBT community and their supporters. Just as I have been embarrassed by SOME members of the Christain community when it comes to certain issues.

Just because many members of the LDS church chose to support “Yes on 8″ doesn’t mean that we want to throw all the gays into a volcano.

Just because one group of gays called “Jesus a Homo” doesn’t mean that all Gays hate Christians, or Jesus for that matter.

It’s the redneck philosophy.

The media is going to choose the most fanatical crazy people to show on TV because that’s what gets the ratings. They’re not going to show normal people like my cousin and myself.

Crazy sells.

I’m really not trying to say anyone is right.

But I am saying that all this hate is wrong.

From both sides.

(Including my comments section.)

I wrote this guest post for Angella over at Dutch Blitz back in February. Love her.

I think it’s this post comes up for air yet again on this cozy fall day in October.

*************

Angella is generally around on Google Chat when trolls come knocking at my door and she does a lovely job of talking me down from my troll induced frenzy.

But I shall frenzy no longer because I have accepted that not everyone is going to like me. Or everything that I do.

Bummer.

Same goes for you. Not everyone likes you. Sorry.

If you decide to write about religion you’ll be told you go to the wrong church. Or believe in the wrong God. But if you don’t write about religion you will be chastised for not involving religion in the raising of your child.

If you write about your child you will be told you’re doing it all wrong. If you don’t write about your child people will let you know that you are selfish and self centered.

If you don’t use paragraphs you’ll be sent links on proper grammar. If you do use paragraphs you’ll be called “stuffy, boring and wordy.”

If you write about depression you’ll be called a lazy human being who has no right to parent a child.

If you write about your attorney husband you’ll be called a spoiled and kept woman.

If you write how to make homemade cinnamon rolls you’ll be called indulgent and told you have too much free time. But if you write about your dirty love for polishing off a Cinnabon with extra frosting all by yourself in the corner of the mall food court you’ll be told that you are the reason society is fat.

If you dare mention that you had a bad day and that you’re two steps away from selling your offspring on eBay, you’ll get all sorts of snarky comments about your status as an ungrateful and unfit mother. But if you don’t write about the honest truth that kids tend to drive one batty every once in a while and only post sparkly rainbow unicorn kisses, people will question your authenticity. (And throw up in their mouths a little bit when reading about your so called constant state of glitter and sunshine of a life.)

So there you have it.

I am a Mormon mommy blogger who writes how I think, rarely uses proper punctuation, is dealing with depression, gets frustrated easily, hates that her husband is gone all the time and enjoys the occasional Cinnabon.

But I am also a Mormon mommy blogger who is trying to be a decent human being, loves my husband, my daughter, my family, the Lord and my friends more than anything in this life. I am grateful for all that I have and to be where I’m at. And I can make a wicked chocolate cake.

How’s that for sunshiney rainbow kisses?

Jesus jammies, freaky panties, garmies, magic underwear, secret undies.

Believe me, I’ve heard them all. (If you want to go straight to the doctrine rich meaty explanation of garments please see this article written by formal  Salt Lake Temple president and former Seventy member Elder Carlos E. Asay. If you want my Layman’s definition, please keep going…)

Truth is, adult members of my church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, or “Mormons”) who have gone through the temple do wear a garment in place of traditional underwear. And yes, women still wear bras, regular old bras. Any kind. Nothing at all special about our bras (well, there is something special about mine, given that it holds the girls at attention, but that’s Victoria’s Secret, not the church’s secret.)

Garments are not secret. They are sacred to those who wear them.

Children do not wear the garment.

Men and women wear different styles of the garment.

We all have multiple pairs. No, we’re not wearing the same underwear everyday. (Eww.)

The garment comes in a variety of different fabrics and styles for men and women, including one and two piece styles. All garments are white except for military issue garments which are brown.

Just because someone is LDS does not mean they wear the garment.

Members who wear the garment have gone through the temple and have made special covenants with the Lord and have made a commitment to wear the garment throughout their lives both day and night. The garment serves as a protection to us, and as a constant reminder of the covenants we have made with God. It also encourages modesty as the garment covers us from our knees to our shoulders.

So yes, sleeveless tops are out, short shorts and short skirts are also out. Baring our midriff? Not an option.

There are the four S’s however when it comes to removing the garment. Swimming, showering, sports (ones that cannot be performed reasonably with the garment on) and well, you should have already guessed the other S. Bow chicka.

In all cases the garment is to be restored as soon as possible and no excuses should be made about wearing the garment. “I don’t want to” or “I don’t feel like it” are not acceptable. Wearing the garment is a sacred privilege to those who wear the garment. It is a commandment, just like don’t covet thy neighbor’s ass. And we take our commandments seriously.

“The principles of modesty and keeping the body appropriately covered are implicit in the covenant and should govern the nature of all clothing worn. Endowed members of the Church wear the garment as a reminder of the sacred covenants they have made with the Lord and also as a protection against temptation and evil. How it is worn is an outward expression of an inward commitment to follow the Savior.” -From  this article on LDS.org

How one chooses to wear the garment is an outward expression of an inward commitment to God. Our clergy do not wear robes or any sort of distinct clothing to set them apart from other members of the church. Our prophet wears a suit just like our bishop wears a suit just like Cody wears a suit. But for those of us who have been to the temple, we all have the same thing closest to our bodies, underneath our worldly clothing we are all wearing the same commitment to our faith and our Savior.

So there you go. Nothing special or magical or secret or freaky. Just our personal faith and commitment to our main man Jesus. I personally love wearing mine. Of course I didn’t love it at first because trying to find modest clothing can sometimes be like trying to find a lost Binky in Disney World. But I’m glad I never have to worry about what’s hanging out or what may be showing yet not shaved. I love that through my wearing of the garment I am able to show Heavenly Father that I love Him and respect Him. Also that I love and respect myself enough not to succumb to immodesty just because it may be the cool “sexy” thing for women to do these days. (No, I’m not talking about you over there in the tank top…I’m talking about the girls in bikinis, lingerie and micro mini skirts that make us all feel bad about ourselves as they bare their airbrushed flesh on the covers of smutty magazines. Okay?)

Besides, we now kind of have our own cult following of fashion. Shabby Apple? Shade clothing? Layers clothing? Down East? All started to help those of us who don’t want our stuff showing but still want to look cute. Further proof that modesty is hottesty.

P.S. No, there’s really no way to see them unless you marry a Mormon who wears them, are a doctor and have an LDS patient or choose to join our church becuase it’s so completely awesome. It’s not that they’re secret, they’re just sacred, you know? They just look like boxer briefs and a t-shirt. Nothin’ fancy, Promise.

I saw this post over at BlogHer. It’s about Mormons, and hello, I am one. So is the author of the Vampire “Twilight” series. Everyone over their shock? Okay, good.

This whole mess is exactly what I’m trying to clarify with my posts on religion. I don’t ask you to agree with me on my choice of religion. However, I do ask that whenever you decide to talk about my religion or make fun of it (srlsy) you get your darn facts straight. Make fun of me all you want as long as it’s the truth! But when someone only chooses to remember what he or she wants to remember or listen to what he or she wants to listen to about my religion things get messy. It’s fun to twist facts, it’s fun to recite stereotypes or urban legends. I know! Because I’ve done it! But this is how ignorance is born. You could find so much BS about my choice of religion out there on the internet and from people who feel they have been spurned you’d think we’re a bunch of hard core crazies (okay, some of us are hard core crazies) But in reality? We’re just a bunch of people trying to make it along in this world like everyone else.

My comment on the BlogHer site says this:

I’m sorry. But as a Mormon and as someone who has read the books there is no underlying racism because of her (our) religion. Or racism period. Meh.

Pardon me for not sounding coherent but if Ms. Valdes-Rodriguez had really done her research she would have learned that the Lamanites (the dark skinned ones) came out ahead and the Nephites (the light skinned ones) became violent and the problem people. Also, her sources for her quote from President Brigham Young was not from a reliable source. It was from an anti-Mormon source.

I’ll bet you I could find some post or wiki or video somehwere that says that we (Mormons) kill puppies naked in our temples (which we don’t, but it sounds a lot more excting right?) Not only was her commentary full of mistakes from the books, her reasearch into a horribly misunderstood religion was even worse.

There is or was racism and sexism in almost every religion at some point in time. Just because Mormons are easier to point fingers at doesn’t mean she should. What if Ms. Meyer was Jewish? Would people get after her about the unkosher diet of a Vampire?

My comment on Ms. Valdes-Rodriguez’s site said this: (she has enabled comment moderation and I don’t know if she’ll accept my comment or not)

I would also ask you kindly to look into other religions and other acts of Genocide and notice that it’s rampant in all religions and cultures. Not just the one you are choosing to examine and pick apart. Not that that makes it right, but it doesn’t unfairly point a finger at any one religion.
If you look into a religion only choosing to see what you want to see, of course the outcome is going to be what you originally wanted it to be in the first place.
Maybe you will notice the plea that is also in the front of the Book of Mormon that asks the reader to ponder it prayerfully.
Not spitefully.
I could be offended and find fault by a children’s book if that’s the attitude I took into reading it.

Phew. I’ll get off my soapbox now. It’s a teenage FICTION novel. Does it really matter what church the author chooses to go to every Sunday? Really? REALLY?

Meh.

PMS.

Late night.

xoxo if you’re still here in the morning.

I’ve found that some of you find it interesting that as a part of the LDS (Mormon) church (OOH! Religion! HOT TOPIC!) we attend church every week.

For three hours.

Yep. Every single week.

Three hours. 180 minutes.

Our first meeting is Sacrament, were we partake of bread and water in remembrance of the Savior. In this meeting we are all together. We sing a little, listen to talks and get any other important news about our congregation. For the second and third meeting, kids 18 months- 3 years go to a nursery class and children 3-12 attend a primary class. The second meeting for adults 18+ is Sunday school where we learn about and read scriptures. The third meeting is either Relief Society (for women) Priesthood (for men). Boys and girls 12+ each have their own Sunday school classes divided by age and their own meeting of either Young Women or Young Men. Each class is led by members “called” to the position for a small amount of time. (For example, I teach the 12 and 13 year old Sunday School Class, Cody teaches once a month in his Priesthood class.)

That’s roughly 156 hours of church a year (give or take some due to various and assorted church wide conferences.)

Considering there’s 8,760 hours in a year, that’s a very tiny portion of it spent at church.

We also dress up. Sunday best. Every week. This is also a hot topic of discussion.

The way I look at it, if I were Deity and I had done a whole lot to bless the lives of the people who have faith in me, died for them even, I’d appreciate it if for the three hours a week they came together to learn about me and sing songs about me, it would be nice if they’d get out of their jammies and comb their hair.

Right?

We also don’t (well avoid, sometimes it’s inevitable) shop or eat out on Sundays, we stay close with our families resting and relaxing, because dude? That’s totally what the God I believe in did on the seventh day. This makes Utah either the most awesome state in the Union or the lamest state in the Union come Sunday, depending on what you want to do.

As usual, I’m not asking you to agree with what I choose to do with my Sundays. If religion to you is weeding your tomato plants on a Sunday then get on down with your bad ol’ weeding self. I’m just putting a little more reliable information out into the internets about us (not so crazy) Mormons. So keep the meanness to yourself and take it out on those dandelions overtaking your lawn over there.

I don’t drink. Used to. Don’t anymore. In my choice of religion we are commanded to follow the Word of Wisdom. The word of wisdom basically breaks down to “eat stuff that’s good for you, avoid the stuff that’s bad for you.” Included in the list of things which are good for you are fruits, vegetables, whole grains and meat (in moderation). Duh. The things that fall under the “bad” category are alcohol, tobacco, coffee and tea.

(By the way, to any new readers, HI! I’m a Mormon. If you hate Mormons, kindly keep your mean emails and comments to yourself and just click away, hit unsubscribe and forget that 12,000,000 of us share the same planet as you. kthxbai)

So there you go. I don’t drink. That isn’t to say that I never drank, because WHOO did I drink. And you know what? It really isn’t for me. With my depression and inability to control myself as a hot drunken mess it’s really just better that I don’t. So even if it weren’t for the religious direction not to drink, I still wouldn’t drink. Same with cigarettes, tried one once, gagged and vomited in my mouth a little. Plus I spend a lot of money to smell good, why waste all that effort? As for the coffee and tea? I’ve had one sip of coffee in my entire life. Totally not for me. Icky. Tea? I broke down and tried some “magical” ginger tea whilst I was pregnat. Let’s just say that vomiting up ginger tea solidified my passionate hatred for all things ginger.

So that brings us to BlogHer, where the liquor and coffee flow pretty freely. I won’t be drinking any of it. However, I’ll probably be keeping a Shirley Temple and hot chocolate count somewhere in my sidebar. I personally am a lot more fun sober. Although when you see me dance, you may wonder if I didn’t take a little nip when no one was looking.

Are you worried I’ll be talking to you all the while silently judging you and condemning you to hell for that gin and tonic in your hands?

Depends. Are you going to be accosting me insisting that I shove liquor down my throat, calling me a big holier than thou sissypants sissy for not drinking?

No? Didn’t think so. Just as I know you will respect my reasons for not drinking, I wholly respect your decision to drink. You’re a big girl, you can handle yourself. So assuming Shirley Temples are free, I’ll have a few drink tickets up for grabs.

See you in 19 days ladies.