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I'll be the sober one at BlogHer 08
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    BeingSavvyIndianapolis

    • Mah lucky bloggin’ shirt.

    July 3, 2008

    I went out and bought all new outfits for BlogHer last year (Oh shut up, you know you did too.) One of the things I bought was a navy blue shirt with a white polka dot empire waist tie. It’s the only navy blue thing I own. It was also the only thing I owned at the time with polka dots. (My polka dot clothing count has since been raised to three.)

    I was wearing my navy blue shirt when I had my first picture taken with my complete blog crush from last year. Seriously, I was star struck over her. A total redneck mommy groupie. This year? If she doesn’t bring me Wunderbars I have full license to strangle her with the navy blue shirt whilst she sleeps. (Be warned T.)
    Redneck Mommy and Moosh

    I wore my navy blue shirt again when BOSSY rolled through town on her excellent road trip.

    BOSSY et moosh

    The navy blue shirt made yet another appearance when I made my first local television appearance about the blogging I do that caused me to buy the navy blue shirt in the first place.
    My big debutMy dentist is prrrooouuuudddd

    The image “http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3133/2633906122_0d44cd3bb3_m.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.Blah Indy Blah

    I have an official lucky blogging shirt. Would anybody judge me if I wore it all four days in San Fransisco?

    P.S. You probably won’t be seeing any video of me on TV, I don’t have that fancy Tivo, I have no idea how to get it off my DVR and I’m not really even on the screen a whole lot, they showed a lot of clips of the stuff I was talking about. Besides, I said “ERM” instead of “UM”. I don’t need that circling the internet and reminding me, oh, ERM, everyday of my slip on live TV.

    Wii’s kinda snarky. I’s snarky right back.

    June 30, 2008

    Who’s played Wii Fit?

    Has it made you cry yet?

    Have you at least sworn at it?

    I have.

    You see, Wii Fit is a computer. It could care less if you’re a hulking beast of muscle. All it knows is that you’re 5′2″ 26 years old and that you weigh 127 lbs. It doesn’t know about your delicate wrists or your slender neck. It just knows that mathematically the BMI for a 5′2″ 127 lb. 26 year old woman is 21.47.

    21.47 is normal, 21.47 is healthy. It even tells you you’re normal and healthy. It will even indulge you with a Wii Fit age of 24 years old.

    Aw, Wii Fit, you’re making me blush.

    Hop on Wii Fit a week later after two days of period water weight bloat and a half box of Oreos from the night before and the Wii Fit will notice that you are now a 5′3″ woman who weighs 128.2 lbs. The Wii Fit will then draw an ENORMOUS RED LINE at a very steep angle from your previously recorded weight of 127 lbs. followed by a screen giving you six options as to why you’ve gained weight.

    Why do you think you’ve gained weight this past week Casey?

    a. I eat too much.

    b. I eat before bed.

    c. I don’t exercise enough.

    d. I watch too much SYTYCD.

    e. I eat half bags of Oreos in one sitting.

    f. I don’t know.

    No where is there an option for “I am a bloated heifer carrying around enough extra water weight to drown a small dinghy”.

    So I selected “I don’t know.”

    Wii Fit came back and told me some garbage about me being accountable for my eating habits and he’s just sure I know why I gained two pounds and to play Wii Fit everyday and he won’t let me get tubby like I’m letting myself get tubby without his cute computer sounds and addictive games.

    This is when the Wii Fit was formally told to suck it.

    Wii Fit then made my Mii avatar chubbier around the midsection, to reflect my newfound weight gain.

    Touché , Wii Fit. touché .

    Crazy Sober Mormons.

    June 29, 2008

    I don’t drink. Used to. Don’t anymore. In my choice of religion we are commanded to follow the Word of Wisdom. The word of wisdom basically breaks down to “eat stuff that’s good for you, avoid the stuff that’s bad for you.” Included in the list of things which are good for you are fruits, vegetables, whole grains and meat (in moderation). Duh. The things that fall under the “bad” category are alcohol, tobacco, coffee and tea.

    (By the way, to any new readers, HI! I’m a Mormon. If you hate Mormons, kindly keep your mean emails and comments to yourself and just click away, hit unsubscribe and forget that 12,000,000 of us share the same planet as you. kthxbai)

    So there you go. I don’t drink. That isn’t to say that I never drank, because WHOO did I drink. And you know what? It really isn’t for me. With my depression and inability to control myself as a hot drunken mess it’s really just better that I don’t. So even if it weren’t for the religious direction not to drink, I still wouldn’t drink. Same with cigarettes, tried one once, gagged and vomited in my mouth a little. Plus I spend a lot of money to smell good, why waste all that effort? As for the coffee and tea? I’ve had one sip of coffee in my entire life. Totally not for me. Icky. Tea? I broke down and tried some “magical” ginger tea whilst I was pregnat. Let’s just say that vomiting up ginger tea solidified my passionate hatred for all things ginger.

    So that brings us to BlogHer, where the liquor and coffee flow pretty freely. I won’t be drinking any of it. However, I’ll probably be keeping a Shirley Temple and hot chocolate count somewhere in my sidebar. I personally am a lot more fun sober. Although when you see me dance, you may wonder if I didn’t take a little nip when no one was looking.

    Are you worried I’ll be talking to you all the while silently judging you and condemning you to hell for that gin and tonic in your hands?

    Depends. Are you going to be accosting me insisting that I shove liquor down my throat, calling me a big holier than thou sissypants sissy for not drinking?

    No? Didn’t think so. Just as I know you will respect my reasons for not drinking, I wholly respect your decision to drink. You’re a big girl, you can handle yourself. So assuming Shirley Temples are free, I’ll have a few drink tickets up for grabs.

    See you in 19 days ladies.

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