We haz herry winner!

moosh and whoorl pick a winner.

Thanks to all 33 of you brave souls who entered the “Let the moosh Whoorl Your Hair Contest Extravaganza!” By the magic of Sarah’s random number magic randomizer juju program (uh, Sarah, screen shot? Hello? What are you, out of town or something?) she came up with #32 which is the woman who just happens to have the best blogroll ever (and not just because I’m on it).

Congratulations Mommy’s Martini! I’ll get in touch with you as soon as I’m done flying on this enormous plane across the country with all these strangers who are wondering what on earth a moosh is.

jealousy, envy and bitterness. WHEE!

Yes. There are people who are sad they are not at BlogHer.

Yes. There are people who are out of their minds with jealousy that they are not at BlogHer.

Yes. There are people at BlogHer who are having the time of their life.

Yes. There are people who are at BlogHer who are hating every minute of it.

Lest you think the talk of BlogHer will end after all the planes have left and the suitcases have been unpacked you’d be wrong.

There’s going to be talk of lifelong friendships, there will be pictures, there will be stories. There will also be talk of self pity. Talk of cliques. Talk of outcasting. Talk of no fun.

If you’re not having fun. I’m sorry, but it’s your fault.

I stood on a stage of a swanky San Francisco DANCE club and announced into a microphone “Ladies, it’s time to DANCE.” There were less than a dozen of you that came down and danced who weren’t already forced on the floor by me.

Why not?

Most of you are on vacation. Most of you had nothing more to do this morning than get up and hang out with a thousand of the most amazing women I’ve ever met. So what if you don’t have rhythm? Who cares if you look like a wounded mammal when you dance? We already bare our souls to each other through words, why are so many of you so shy to share yourself in person? I gave everyone a personal invitation to dance with me. I said hi to everyone to came down. I have been trying to smile at everyone, say hi to anyone who will say hi to me.

No posts have shown up today saying “don’t read that moosh lady SHE DANCES TOO MUCH.” I had fun. WHOO. I had fun. And. AND! I was completely sober.

bustin' loose.

Thank you to everyone who boogied with me. Thank you to everyone who has said hi to me, or who I’ve had the pleasure of meeting. You are all fantastic. I’m honored and humbled that I’ve been able to be in your presence this weekend.

So please, you have 24 hours left. Have fun. These experiences will never happen again. There are so many people who wish they were here. If you can’t have fun for yourself, have fun for them.

SanFransesame Street

I met Abby Cadabby.
I loooove Abby
I cried a little. Sesame Street holds a very tender part of my heart. Abby even called the moosh and left her a message.
Abby calling the moosh.
I cried a little bit more.
Then I got to make a DVD with Grover.
I KNOW! GROVER!
Hanging with G.
Abby found out that Kim and I were best friends and insisted on having our picture all taken together.
Abby Kim and me.
And then Kim got to make a DVD with Grover for her kids.
Kim and Grover
We both cried. Our cheeks hurt from smiling so much.
I love Sesame Street, always have.
And now I know that Sesame Street loves me.
looooove her.

Black Rover, Black Rover, SUCK IT.

The scene: Right outside a local Greek restaurant full of flaming cheese, pita bread and meat pie. Me, in my car with small child shrieking from backseat. Her, a middle aged poufed up smoker with fake black hair and too high of heels for her center of balance. She gets into her new shiny black Range Rover with her two froofed up sidekicks, TooBlonde and SpandexQueen.

Before closing her door she throws (THROWS!) her half full convenience store soda cup INTO the parking lot.

I threw my car into park.

Disgusted.

I am in no way crunchy, well, maybe three ways crunchy, but REGARDLESS! You don’t throw your garbage ON THE GROUND!

My first reaction? Tear out of my car and throw that soda back into her half open cigarette hanging window. Whew, it would have felt gooood.

(Cody’s mentioned something about controlling my rage…hmm…well. Anyway.)

Second reaction? Get out of my car and pick it up myself. With a big HUMPH! and a dramatic twirl back to my car.

However, I did nothing. Dummy, pansy, dummyhead. Driving away I thought through all the things that could have happened along with the fact that I’m a dummy pansy dummyhead. And then it hit me:

Third reaction, get out of the car, pick the cup up and (nicely) say “Excuse me? Ma’am? You dropped your drink!” then she would either have to suck it up and take it back or deal with some serious karma if she laughed in my face.

What would you have done? And why is it that the best comebacks come two minutes after you needed them?

If nothing else send the litterer lady bad BAAAD juju’s.

info on the mooshfo.

Inspired by my fellow Community Keynote (holy crap!) speakers Angela and Schmutzie. A few things you may need to know before ever hanging out with me. You know, in large social gatherings and stuff. Maybe even one in San Fransisco. Or in Indiana, or even Utah. I’m not picky.

1. I am not the moosh. the moosh is my kid. I am Casey. Nice to meet you.

2. “moosh in indy” rhymes with “push pin Cindy” not “Mewsh fin slindly”. I say this because:

  • A. the pronunciation of “mewsh” bugs me.
  • B. I’m too nice to correct you if you do pronounce it “mewsh”, but I will then know you don’t hang on to every mother loving word I write on this blog and you will be dead to me.

Consider this a PSA. I also hate to be called Case. So don’t do it.

3. I have the voice of a little girl. Of course in my head it’s very sultry and appealing. Alas, out loud it comes off as squeaky and the next telemarketer that asks if my parents are home will be smitten with a sore curse.

4. I’ll be the one with the dent in my left shin. You know, from falling down the stairs in Chicago? If you ask I may let you see it up close, maybe even touch it. Heaven knows I won’t be able to feel it.

RIP shin nerves.

5. If I find out you are Canadian and that you did not bring me Wunderbars I will ignore your existence on this planet, eh?

6. I’m kind of kidding on most of these. Of course if you hang on to every mother loving word I write on this blog then you’d already know that.

7. I made my husband breakfast this morning. It involved raspberries, vanilla and a blowtorch.
Vanilla raspberry oatmeal brulee

Intrigued? Check the food blog, Linoleum Dynamite, and if you ever come to my house I will cook for you.

mooshisms.

So every parent tells other people the funny things that their kids say. Well, at least it’s funny to them. Or the people who know the kid really well. Or people who are easily amused by “kids say the darndest things” type conversations.

I am not one of those people. Yet here I am, with “the moosh says the darndest things.”

  • “MOM! There’s the biggest most awesomest toasty golden brown bug outside the window.” (Yes, toasty golden brown, like toast, or cheese, or cheese on toast. I know.)
  • (insert the moosh getting into serious trouble in public place)

***sobbing***”I WANT MY MOM.”***sobbing***

“I am your mom”

*blank stare from the moosh*

She buries her face in a chair and sobs even harder.

  • “Hey, can we get a baby brother while we’re here?” (said in the textiles aisle of TJ Maxx.)
  • “YOU DON’T HAVE ANY OPTIONS!” the moosh’s closing line to an argument with a fellow three year old.
  • “Stop doing the lawn!” Said to the landscapers outside our window.

This afternoon I woke up from a little snoozer to this:

Drizella!

And the moosh screaming this:
“DRIZELLA!”

There’s one thing no one ever tells you about parenting. You never get to be the “cool” character. You always have to be the witch or the evil stepmother or the ugly stepsister or the horse. What I wouldn’t give to play Cinderella one last time. (Dude, I’m not even allowed to like Cinderella because Cinderella IS HER FAVORITE.)

My life is rarely ever boring.

Gah. Love. Her.

Whatever do you mean we have an integrated web cam?

Especially now that I know that little black square up there is a webcam. Who knew?

Gossip of the delicious kind.

gos┬Ěsip

n.

1. Rumor or talk of a personal, sensational, or intimate nature.
2. A person who habitually spreads intimate or private rumors or facts.
3. Trivial, chatty talk or writing.
4. A close friend or companion.
Where in the definition of gossip does it say “must be malicious and hurtful to qualify as gossip”? Yet when we hear the word gossip our ears are instantly perked with the hope of hearing that so and so has had a nose job, that girl over there sleeps with men for money or that guy likes to eat his toejam.
Gossip is even more fantastic when it’s about someone we know, especially if it’s someone we don’t like, or worse, envy.
Meh.
Gossip sucks.
Correction.
Catty, backstabbing, ruthless, mean, nosy gossip sucks. And it spreads like a toxic wildfire.
After seeing John and Jen at a little restaurant in Indy last week I was contacted by at least five fan sites and three major (MAJOR) news outlets looking for details. Imagine their disappointment when I told them they were eating food and looked genuinely happy doing it.
“Rumor or talk of a personal, sensational, or intimate nature.”
Who said that rumors or talk of a personal, sensational or intimate nature need to be rude or mean to be interesting?
How often do we admire someone’s (sensational) outfit, humor, skin, hair, shoes, laugh or bone structure but never say anything to them? Instead we may say something to the person next to us, and chances are they will concur. They will in turn say something to someone else. The fact that the two or three of you think that girl over there in those cute red shoes is the bees knees will probably never reach her ears. It will stay between you and your friends because chances are you’d feel a little funny running up to a stranger proclaiming your love for her choice of footwear.
Shame really.
There’s a girl who lives just down the road from me that has a face that was formed by angels. She has cheekbones ANTM contestants would kill for. Everyone who knows her talks about them, and everyone agrees that she is strikingly beautiful, but as far as I know no one talks to her about them.
So I did.
“Hey did you know that at least a dozen different girls think you are beautiful?”
She blushed. She had no idea.
This is the kind of gossip we need to share. If you hear something said about someone else and you agree, why not share with the person being admired?
I know I’ve never gotten mad at anyone who gave me a compliment.
(And no, this is not a shameless attempt to get compliments.)
For example. I think Lotus from Sarcastic Mom is amazingly beautiful. In more ways than one obviously, but the girl just glows.
So there you go.
What about the best compliment you’ve ever received, maybe one you were never meant to hear? How did it make you feel?
Or is there something you admire about someone, yet you’ve never put it into words to them?
Go.
Do it.
I dare you.

You still have time for a Whoorlie do.

5 days left to enter the “Let the moosh Whoorl your hair contest extravaganza” where you will be put front and center over at Hair Thursday and I will pay for you to get your hair done up as Sarah and her thousands of readers see fit.

All you have to do is link to the original post, Hair Thursday and post a photo of a good hair day, a bad hair day and an average hair day. That’s it! One winner will be picked at random and announced between Thursday July 18th and Sunday July 20th. You have until Midnight EST on Monday July 14th to enter.

Worried about showing your bad hair day to the internets? All these women have already joined it. Will you be next?

Jia from Color me UnTypical

Melissa from Toast 2 Mom

Bridget from The Ivey League

Beverly from Glenys Lucky Mama

Kim from Strangers Still

Lauren from Lauren’s Knitting

Amy from Permission to Peruse

SuzyQ from Squirrel Chatter

Jean from Working Momma 24/7

Missy from Meanwhile Back at the Ranch

Emily from designHER momma

Holly from Holly Babble

Beth from Tale of Two Kiddies

April from ChiMonkey

Megan from Karma Rack Up

Isabel from Hola, Isabel!

Amy from Mama Nirvana

Betsy from My Pretty Little World

Alicia from Red Doll Shoes

Becky from Clearly Delirious

Amanda from Kicky Boots

Mary Beth from Cats…Books…Life is Good

Nichole from esmon

Emily at Mama’s Bloggin’

Jen from Mommy Instincts

ikate from Ka-Ka-Ka-Katy

Sarah from In My Blonde Life

Mandy from They Call Me Bobby

Amy from doobleh-vay

Jennifer from JeRom’s Journal

Bellamomma from The Mommy Years

Mommytime from Mommy’s Martini

Kerri Anne from Kerrianne