here but not there, hiding.

I am not doing well.

Sorry you have to watch this.

But thank you for being here.


  1. heart. breaking. for. you. may there be peace where restlessness reigns. may there be understanding in the midst of confusion. may there be hints of joy in the darkest places. may there just be a small crack of light today to flood your soul and give you comfort.

  2. Here for you. I hate when the real me is swallowed up by the fierce fear and sadness that is “the monster”. Keep fighting. (((hugs)))

  3. Focus on taking care of yourself right now. You need to do that once in awhile, and not just take care of those around you! You have a very generous heart, now turn it towards yourself 🙂 We’ll be rooting for ya 🙂

  4. (((((hugs)))))

    Thinking of you sweetface.

  5. I hope it’s at least some small comfort that you’re not alone. *hugs* I’ve dealt with this for quite a few years of my short life and that familiar darkness has been creeping back in for me lately too. But look at this — look at all the people pulling for you, loving all over you. That’s the great thing, the people who love you no matter what — and whether you want ’em to or not! One step at a time, luv. You don’t need to do any more than that.

  6. i can empathize; def been there! feel better!

    hugs and love!!

  7. If there was one thing I could do with my life before I die – if there was one thing I could do for people – I would like to figure out where Depression comes from and stop it dead in its tracks. I read about 100 different women’s blogs, mostly Bloggers who are Mothers. I see more angst and Depression in a month than a psychiatrist will see in a year. More than anything I wish I could help. Casey, if I thought it would help I’d be in Indy before you could turn around and say “Help Me!” If for no other reason than to give you a HUG – and let you know it’s okay.

  8. Casey – I don’t know why you’re not equipped with meds, but I’m glad you have your camera to distract you.

    Praying for you.

  9. Thinking about you. <3

  10. Casey –
    I too am going through a difficult time. I went to the doctor last week and found out some interesting information on some of the medicines that help with this sort of thing.

    I hate to post this in comments so, if you are interested, please feel free to contact me personally and I’ll share what I learned.

    I’m also on google chat.

  11. Casey,

    You are SO BRAVE. Just to say that you are not doing well is the bravest thing ever.

    I’m praying for you. It is the biggest, best thing I can do.

    Lisa Reply:


    I thought the exact same thing. You have put into words the raw blackness that surrounds anxiety and depression. I would give anything to be the person to pull back the curtains and let in the light. Please just watch for the light through the blinds. Keep focused on it and it will get brighter again.

  12. I understand completely. I battle the demons as well.

  13. feel better

  14. feel better
    BTW I love your blog!

  15. cheers girl.. I was getting all these happy happy posts about typeamom and some not so happy chats…too..

    I can’t travel that much and keep my poop together you know? I see there’s a house in your future?? Hope it MOVES a long.. you sure you don’t want a house in Draper??
    (We found a renter.. btw…)

    thinking happy thoughts for ya.

  16. So much love to you my friend. So much love.

  17. I know how you feel, I’m in the middle of something right now too. Love and hugs are being sent your way, friend. This too shall pass.

  18. ugh. so horrible. so have been there. so dread it rearing it’s ugly head again. so hate the drugs. so need the drugs. so…….

    xoxo and prayers.

  19. Only anyone who has ever experienced anx/dep could really know what you’re going through. Only anyone who has ever experienced it can also tell you that it might help to know that you are not alone in this battle. And that somehow, you will come out the other side of this.

  20. I’m sorry you’re having to go through this. But just by getting onto your blog, and stating, matter-of-factly that this is happening? Is a pretty wonderful thing. It makes ME feel less alone, and more normal. Thank you.

  21. xoxo

  22. Thinking of you & sending prayers your way.

  23. Hugs and prayers to you today!

  24. bear hug

  25. Much love to you. Having been there, I know the black hole that sucks it all in. People will be here no matter what. I hope that you can find your way back to the light soon. Thinking of you.

  26. I tried to leave a comment last night. I am rooting for you.


  27. I call it falling off the cliff. I’ve very recently learned that it’s a chronic disease that I need to manage just like a diabetic manages their insulin level. I haven’t completely figured out how yet, but at least I finally know which monster I need to fight. I emailed you to say more.

    If you manage to get out of bed today, call it a victory and pat yourself on the back. If you manage to wash some underwear for everyone and feed the moosh a PBJ, give yourself a high five. If you get the basics done, call it good.

    You can do it, Casey. We all know you can.

  28. I’m so thinking of you. Praying for you. I will light a candle for you at Mass tomorrow. Hang in there honey.

  29. Hugs, love. I’m here. xoxo

  30. I have it, too. ((hugs))

  31. Take care of yourself. I’m sorry.

  32. Take care of yourself. I know it’s hard when the dragon is breathing it’s fire. Hugs.

  33. I’m checking here as often as I check Facebook. Hoping to see an update. Praying you’ll post a word or two saying you’re coming out of the pit.

    How strange is it that I thought of The Princess Bride and the Pit of Despair and the ROUS’s? Maybe my stupidity and the weird links and connections that my brain makes will make you smile – just a little.

    Hang tough.

  34. Casey, I just want to fly where you are and give you the biggest hug in the whole world. It’s so hard, I know it is. No apologies necessary, not ever. You are an amazing person, and I hope that your journey out of this darkness is short and soon you’re in the light again. (HUGS)

  35. My friend, I’m wishing you everything that you want and need now.

    We’ll always be here!

  36. When you’re ready, the sun is out. come play for a while… I know, babe. Really I do. I know. Better days are coming, I swear.

  37. A warm, but gentle hug to you.


  38. I am so sorry you’re dealing with this. Hang in there!!

  39. The problem with you being awesome is that when you’re not feeling awesome, everyone still thinks you’re awesome, because you still are. So, not a problem really, just a side effect of being awesome. Keep being awesome.

  40. Oh honey. *huge huge hugs*

  41. I love you, Casey… you and your invisible wings.

  42. No need to apologize.

    I’m here for you. Hugs and love, and a big punch in the face to depression, who always seems to come after me, too.


  1. […] On Monday, I saw a retreat from the world. […]