Starting a new medication when there’s a slight chance you may be pregnant is not something to do if you’re somewhat anxiety ridden about the whole pregnancy issue. Obviously there is the fear of a three legged baby, or maybe not even a baby, maybe one of those fuzzy things from Star Trek could come popping out towards the end of November.



No, my problem lies within the fact that I attribute nausea to pregnancy. Can you blame me really? I didn’t realize when I started barfing 18 times a day at 4 weeks I was just getting warmed up. So even when a common side effect to a medication is nausea I still blame a blastocyst forming in the dark corners of my womb.

PMS should have done me in this week. (Which usually means Cody cowering in a corner and me shrieking obscenities while wielding some sort of meat on a bone .) But when it never reared its ugly head I blamed pregnancy. Not the mood elevating drugs I just happened to start in heavy doses two weeks ago.

And then the peeing. OH WITH THE PEEING. Maybe I do pee a lot and just don’t pay attention. But whether it was pill, perceived or pregnancy I was peeing a lot more than usual.

I can’t even say it was pregnancy. It wasn’t. It was just me hoping that it was pregnancy. Making the symptoms fit the diagnosis I wanted it to be. How do I know it’s not pregnancy? Well duh, like every other woman knows it’s not pregnancy. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t sneak into the bathroom in the early hours for the last few days to pee on a stick hoping that by will and determination I could convince it to be positive.

Even though immediately after peeing on the last negative pregnancy test I felt the first pangs of cramping (thanks Universe), I still checked the test an hour later to see if it had changed its mind.

It hadn’t.

On the bright side? Thanks to the true culprit of all my nausea and occasional vomiting, the medication I’m taking, I will not be a raging hormonal hag for once.


  1. oh man, i just started lexapro and i said to hubby this is just like the morning sickness i had, and it is HELL. i swear to god i would rather be anxiety ridden than nauseous like this.

    feener’s last blog post..Book Tag & Giveaway

  2. at least you have an excuse for your mood. I’m cranky and mean for no good reason. Stick with your plan, sounds like you are on the right track, no matter how bad it sucks right now.

    emily’s last blog post..Cupcakes, Pancakes, and all is well…

  3. At least you’re looking on the bright side of things- no PMS is good.

  4. Sounds about like every month for me… I pee on a stick and start my period that afternoon…

    Reese’s last blog post..Not As Dumb As I Look

  5. Can’t they come up with a medication that doesn’t cause nausea? Seriously, it is quite a challenge to fight the good fight and feel like crap the whole time!
    I hope it wears off soon.

    Clink’s last blog post..there’ll be days like this

  6. Having dealt with depression and pregnancies ridden with vomiting every 1/2 hour for seemingly endless months, I have two things to say.

    1. I hope it gets better soon. Very, very soon.
    2. After reading this and remembering those awful days of leaning over the bathroom sink (because, really, why kneel at the toilet when all you can stomach is Sprite and orange popsicles) with the endless dry heaves, I feel like vomiting on your behalf.

    Good luck.

    chaffinclan’s last blog post..Mission Chocolate Chip Cookie

  7. So glad I’m not the only one who checks back in on the test like a bartender checking in on the lonely girl at the end of the bar.

    MammaLoves’s last blog post..Dreams, Observations and the Final Clue

  8. Reality bites sometimes fo’ sure!! Oh how I remember that nausea during pregnancy-I wanted to be shot or knocked out……….

  9. I’m sorry to hear that you got your hopes up, and you’re not pregnant. πŸ™ I am, however, glad that you’re feeling a bit better these days!
    Spring is just around the corner too, don’t worry!

    Meg’s last blog post..One of the worst parts…

  10. A few years ago, I hated my job so much my body started getting mysteriously nauseous every day. I hoped I was pregnant so I wouldn’t have to go back to that horrible office ever ever again. Actually being pregnant would have been dreadful for both my relationship and my finances. But it would have solved the work situation so neatly!

    Then of course later I got pregnant on purpose and thought, This baby better be pretty frickin amazing to make this worth it. Because as you know pregnancy SUCKS.

    Anth’s last blog post..Temporarily Alone

  11. there is nothing like wanting wanting wanting to be pregnant and then finding out you are not. blah.

    those drugs can knock you out for awhile, but it should get better.

    Slow Panic’s last blog post..I Coulda Been a Contendeh!

  12. I know you’ve just been hinting, but I’m sure the disappointment is still deep. It took me 2 years to conceive my first and those 2 years were among my darkest.

    I’m praying for ya’. And maybe with your next pregnancy, it will be vomit free!

  13. Hey Casey could you email me when you get a chance….got some questions about the big D in my life. Thanks!

  14. Casey, my darling blogging goddess. Could you warn me when you’re going to reference things like tribbles so that I know to put the diet coke down. Please.
    Darling. You. make. me. snorgle. roll. and giggle.
    You put heartbreak, nausea, uncertainty and giggles all in one wonderfully real and touching post.
    You rock.
    BIg hugs and congratulations on the meds. Sorry the prego isn’t positive, but we know we aren’t in charge. He has a plan and there’s just no way, IMHO that Moosh is the only one. God bless you darlin’.

    rachel’s last blog post..Weekly Winners

  15. Casey~

    I hope you’re feeling better today. I haven’t experienced the depression, but my first two kids are almost 4 years apart, and not by choice. Two miscarriages between the first and second really sucked. Of course, then I got twins for FUN for my “third”. HA. A little cosmic joke I think.

    Anyway, I hope you have a good Monday. I really enjoy your blog, no matter how you’re feeling.

    Kristin’s last blog post..Fridays aren’t all they’re cracked up to be

  16. I’m sorry that there was no plus sign or two blue lines or whatever on that pregnancy stick. I’m glad though, that this nausea is also a sign of something good – that you are beginning to conquer your depression. Continue to heal, my funny friend.

    andi’s last blog post..Preschoolerville: The essential guide book

  17. Excuse me, are you waving around FRESH meat?

    Darn on that negative. Darn. It.

    Queen of Shake Shake’s last blog post..Butt Hiccups

  18. I hear ya! I totally do the “ooh, this MUST be because I’m preggo” thing. I’ve started my period more than once WHILE waiting for the pregnancy test to finish. Stupid 8 days late life!!!

    Erika’s last blog post..Stop, don’t move, slow down the breathing… RELAX!!!

  19. I’m so glad I’m not the only one who attributes every little symptom to pregnancy, even when there’s an icecube’s chance in hell that I would be. ha!
    Yea about the PMS, though. I absolutely loved your description of it! ha ha! My husband would agree wholeheartedly that he’s in the same boat as your husband. Aw. Poor them. So sorry about the nausea, though. I hope that eases up soon. Maybe just an adjustment period? I hope so. Take care!

  20. Hoping good things for you, even if it makes you pee and puke. I mean that in a good way.

    Anna at Hank & Willie’s last blog post..I stopped counting at 25,000

  21. I hope you feel better soon! Wishing you all the best.

    Nicole’s last blog post..Who Made the Mess?

  22. I really, really understand. Oh gosh do I understand. You deserve all the carbs and shoes you desire.

    She Likes Purple’s last blog post..A friend of mine

  23. After more than 5 years of said nausea, over-peeing, and trick-you-into-thinking-you’re-pregnant hormones….you’ll just give up on buying the “stick” altogether. I think that was the point when my husband convinced me that they don’t work anyway. Of course, his definition of “don’t work” is “don’t ever come out the way I want”! What is this obsession we have with looking for results that we don’t want?

  24. Oh, dude.

    I never thought I would wish pregnancy-induced vomiting on anyone, but I know how happy it would make you.

    I’m going to put in a reminder to the Big Guy that you are due for some pregnancy spewing.

    Angella’s last blog post..I Should Be

  25. Peeing on sticks, trying to convince them to change their minds to positive. It sucks.

    I’m going through it now; trying not to live my life in two-week increments. This would be my first… how in the WORLD do folks get thru it?

    I guess chatting it up with other wonderfully witty women… Thanks for a smile today.

  26. ((((((((((HUGS))))))))

    I had 39 weeks of pregnancy induced bulemia πŸ™‚ (that was our loving joke for morning sickness around here. He told everyone I wasn’t pregnant, I was just trying out bulemia. Made for lovely family dinners.)

    Really hoping the nausea & cramps & general nastiness of side effects wears off quickly so you can start feeling GOOD again!!!

    Bellamomma’s last blog post..I must have had a really innocent childhood

  27. i kid you not…i have been doing the EXACT same thing the past couple of months. I keep thinking i’m pregnant, even though i know the odds of it are very very slim. just think of all the starbucks i could have had with the money i spent on pregnancy tests, because we all know ONE test is so not proof…

    what medicine did they put you on? i’m thinking it’s time for a change in mine…argh

    Biddy’s last blog post..pack and play

  28. πŸ™

  29. sorry.

    glad the meds are starting to help, though. πŸ™‚

    Pgoodness’s last blog post..Still here…

  30. I’m convinced that nothing can drive a woman more crazy and insane than all the negative pregnancy tests they get in their lifetime! Ick!