This photo was taken in San Francisco over two years ago.

So much has changed since this moment.

Three and a half babies have been added, one has been taken away.

All of us have been hurt and damaged in so many different ways since that night, and when I think about just how much…

I’d rather not think about it.

Sure, we “know” each other on the Internet. We know that she lost a baby, she lost a child, she lost a pregnancy, she lost a best friend, she lost a sister, she lost a husband, he lost a wife, her dad may die any day and that she just received a diagnosis of cancer. For the most part we handle each other with kid gloves. But all these “shes” that live in your computer also have real lives. They are the frustrated mom at the mall, the grumpy lady in the checkout line at the grocery store, the impatient woman at the pediatricians office, the jerk that cuts you off in traffic.

It’s funny that we can see and accept the scars and the wounds of our virtual friends online but sometimes in real life we are unable to give the people around us the benefit of the doubt.

If five people in one picture who were practically strangers two years ago have had so much happen to them since the photo was taken?

It’s safe to say every single person out there is nursing some sort of wound. Be it fresh, freshly healed or a deep painful scar.

I wish we could all act in a way that nurtured the broken hearts around us instead of assuming that most hearts are cold and hard.

Please take better care of each other. We are all so much more alike than we are different.


  1. Up at 3 am for craptastic reasons. This was a lovely thing to read.

  2. Love the message here. Thanks.

  3. Nothing I can say that hasn’t already been said. Lovely post. Bears repeating that when interacting with people onlinr, remember there is a real human being behind that username.

  4. Wonderful post Casey! So very true.

  5. Wow. You are so insightful, and always know how to put into words what I’ve been thinking about.

    You rock!

  6. YES.
    If I was some sort of internet hacker (and the fact I just used the phrase “internet hacker” tells you that I’m totally not), this would be on every single person’s computer start up screen this morning.

  7. You make an excellent point. It’s easy to focus on the forest and forget it’s made up of individual trees sometimes.

  8. We are all so very precious.

  9. Truer and more important words were never spoken.

  10. This, young lady, is why I love you.

  11. So wonderfully put. I think I needed this reminder today.

  12. So true! And yet, so hard to remember, when that lady in line in front of you glares at your child, or that guy in the Beamer cuts you off in traffic… the list goes on. Thank you for reminding us, that we aren’t the only ones having a bad day! 🙂

  13. It’s been 10 years since we lost our son. As horrible as that was, I’ve become a better person because I’ve carried this thought (that you have beautifully written) with me. Little Sam made me a better person.

  14. I knew I liked you for a reason. Hope the mama is feeling better and healthy inside and out. Kisses.

  15. While I belive in giving everyone the benefit of the doubt, some people are so hatefilled they just drain all the energy out of you. (Hey, secretary; I’m looking at you!) I truly believe in helping others and offering everyone a smile – but sometimes it’s makes me very weary.

  16. Amen.

    Also, SIGH.

  17. Yes to this. A huge yes to this.

    I try to remind myself of this very thing all the time. In as much as I silently plead with others to see me as the same flawed flesh and blood as them, I try to do the same.

    It’s not easy, but it’s right.

    Thanks, Casey.

  18. Thank you Casey.

    Felt seriously damaged yesterday. Sorta do today too. Kinda nice to not feel so alone in that.

  19. This is so beautiful… We are so alike, and we should cherish this so more. Be kinder to each other. Not have fear of hurt speaking through us. Be open to others.

    Thank you for bringing this thought to me today, especially on Remembrance day…

    Just plainly BEAUTIFUL.

  20. This gave me chills.

  21. my beautiful, loving boxer dying and I can barely keep it together lately.

    I think the woman working at the shoe store last night reads your blog. She treated my tear stained, could barely form a coherent sentence self with such kindness. It was the greatest thing anyone could have done for me at that moment.

    thank you for writing this.

  22. Wow. Just wow. I needed that reminder.

  23. So true. Think of what a better place the world would be if we all treated everyone better!!

  24. My Mom used to always remind me when I felt someone was treating me badly, that chances were high that person was treated badly by someone else. The only thing that can break the cycle is kindness.

    You have such a good heart. Thank you.

  25. This is perfect.

    I like to think I was an empathetic person before I became a widow, but I know I am now. And it hit me all at once the first time someone told me, “You don’t look like you’re mourning. You are so much stronger than I am.” When, really? I was completely shattered inside. My point is, you can’t tell anything about a person by their appearance (or even their behavior sometimes). It doesn’t always work, but I try to be mindful of the fact that you don’t know the other person’s life.

  26. There is a lot of irony in this post that compares to my life.

    When my best friend was abducted, killed, and found dumped in the Mississippi River a month later, my virtual friends were like “OMG let me do anything and everything possible for you.” While my real life friends were like, “oh get over it…he must have just fallen in” I was like WTF!


  27. You said it. I’ll heed it.

  28. A perfect reminder.

  29. Great post. I have a tendency to approach people in real life cautiously while online I am much more understanding. I will have to remember this. Thanks.

  30. Excellent reminder.

    Here via ChibiJeebs, today. 😉

  31. This was a perfect post for me to read today. Thank you for the reminder!

  32. This is a wonderful sentiment, and something to aspire to. That said, it’s unfortunately unrealistic. First, because if this were the way the world worked, there’d be no need to extend empathy to the people who piss you off during the day because they would be extending you empathy as well and not doing things like cut you off in traffic.

    I think it might be a little easier just to remember that most of what other people do isn’t about you; it’s about them. So let it go.

    I don’t want you to think I disagree, because I don’t disagree with your point. I just think the suggested application is a bit lofty. We can’t all take active care of everyone we come in contact with. Try to be understanding and not take offense to their behavior, yes, but we all have limited time and resources and friends of our own to share those things with.

  33. Beautifully said. Now can you write one for all the people on the Internet who think it’s ok to trash other people? There’s no hope for the trolls…but I wish the anonymity of the net didn’t make it so easy for people to say hurtful things.

    Or maybe I should just learn to let it go…healthier, I guess.

  34. Love, love, LOVE this post. So true!

  35. I just happened to read this and one other post today that reminded me why I believe we should all try to be better to each other every day. Thanks for writing it.