Scene: Vivi has just woken up from her nap, she is grouchy and losing her damn mind. You are in the midst of dinner prep but dinner is still 30 minutes away.


CODY APPROACH: Give her whatever snacks she demanded (CHEESE! CEREAL!), put her in front of the TV with Addie and not give a hoot about her ruining her appetite. Then wonder why she won’t eat anything he made for dinner when it actually came time for dinner.

MY APPROACH: Cut up the fruit and/or vegetable portion of dinner and offer it at the table. Refuse to give in to screaming for cheese and cereal and insist that if she really is hungry she can SIT AT THE TABLE AND EAT WHAT IS OFFERED. Resist urge to use TV as babysitter, ask Addie to step in as a distraction and hope they don’t end up screaming at each other over some random sequin or marble. Grit teeth and convince yourself that home cooked family meals are actually worth all the trouble.

ADDIE’S APPROACH: Convince Vivi to sit at the table using soothing tones and funny voices. Ask Vivi if she can pretend her cantaloupe is cheese and proceed to tell goofy stories as Vivi happily and quietly eats her cantaloupe with you. Once the cantaloupe is gone, ask Vivi if she wants her nails painted while mom finishes dinner. Paint nails, dinner done, everyone eats, everyone’s happy.

Here’s a hint as to which approach went down tonight:

There are moments when Addie is a lot older than 8, her patience with Vivi is astounding.

Cody and I have always worked together because where I am weak, he is strong. Where he falters, I step in.

As Addie grows I’m seeing more and more how perfectly she fits into her role as daughter and sister.

God knew exactly what He was doing when He sent us these two little girls to us when He did.


  1. Perfection! Love this. I’m so glad that chaos is everywhere at times and in those moments clarity can be found. This has been my life this week, only with 20 8 and 9 year olds, for 6 hours at a time. Moments of pure chaos but intertwined with moments of absolute clarity. We’ll get there in third grade this year… It just may take a lot of organized chaos until I’ve got them trained 😉 (Its the oldest child in me that comes out when the patience is almost gone!)

    Also, love that color! It’s been my latest obsession.

    Casey Reply:

    @Erika, It’s a color in the Little Mermaid collection from Sephora! (Because of course.)

  2. Love this! My girls are six and a half years apart and to me, its perfect. It may not be what we originally wanted, such a large gap. But now we get it. They were ment to be those ages and I’m so happy they are! For all the same reasons Addie is the best!

    Casey Reply:

    @sherry, “Now we get it.”
    Yes. Yes. Yes.

  3. They were definitely made for one another.

    Casey Reply:

    @alyinponderland, Like peanut butter and chocolate.

  4. When Trinity was 8 she was so patient and loving with her little sister. She had the soft voice and knew all the right words to say. Eight year olds are awesome. Ten year olds? Meh.

    Casey Reply:

    @Ami, Shh. SHHH.

  5. That is too perfect.

    “God knew exactly what He was doing when He sent us these two little girls to us when He did.”

    This sentence really struck something within me. Although my situation does not involve kids (yet). I’ve been angry, anxious, and upset at the cards that I’ve been given over the last year. Completely unhappy with where I’m at in life and the amount of time it is taking to just get “there.” I must remember all things are done for a reason. Even if this means living with my in-laws for over a year, bouncing from one crappy job to another, and our first house taking longer to build than expected due to rain.

    So thank you for that. He has a reason for everything, and it’s times like these that I need to keep that in mind.

    Casey Reply:

    @Brit, I know those EXACT same feelings in regards to schooling, jobs, apartments, cars, houses and children.
    Then once it’s all over and I can look back on it I can see God’s hand in all of it.
    Then He gets a lot of apologies for all my whining.

  6. Hudson took his sweet time coming down from heaven to join us. Our five years of fertility struggles made sense though, when, during his baby blessing, the Lord told us that he had been “sent to earth when the time was right” FOR HIM. I still remember the pain, but the bitterness melted away at that moment.

    Casey Reply:

    @Chrysta, Vivi’s timing right now is all for us, it will be interesting to see when it becomes apparent it was for her as well.

  7. I love the special relationship these two sisters have. It truly is perfection, just as God planned:).

    Casey Reply:

    @Caroline, There are times they hate each other, but they are the perfect example of unconditional love.

  8. I love that Vivi will sit *still* and have her fingernails painted and long enough for them to dry. I can’t even do that, and I’m a lot older!

  9. Older siblings can be amazing!! What a fabulous relationship your daughters have. I have three sons and a daughter. My daughter is normally amazing with my youngest…. It really goes in phases around here. LOL, I wish there were more of the WONDERFUL ones!!

  10. That last line gave me goosebumps and a lump in my throat.

    I’m so happy for your family. God bless you.

  11. What a wonderful idea (and amazing sister). Also, what great taste in nailpolish Addie and Vivi have (says she with the same on her toes)

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