Do you have any idea how much better my brain functions at 78 degrees? Or 85 degrees if a swimming pool is nearby? Way better. The last time I was blindsided by depression was in February. Blah, icky, gloomy, stupid February. And I also have a confession to make.

This last little bout?

Totally more or less my fault.

Someone forgot to call in her refill request. A week went by, constant thoughts of “OH I SHOULD GET THAT REFILLED” went through my head. But I always found something to distract me. Blah blah long story short I bottomed out awful quick and when I finally called in my refill request I was smacked down with a whole bunch of BS NO HEALTH INSURANCE BUREAUCRACY.

Side note.

Dear Cody,

If you take a job that doesn’t offer benefits you will be eating Spaghettios and rye bread until the day you die. I will make sure of it.


Apparently I needed to go back and have my level of crazy re-evaluated. I tried to explain to them that I felt fine, the medication that was prescribed to me last time was working wonders, I didn’t have any insurance coverage that would allow me to come back in at a price we could afford and IF THEY DIDN’T GIVE ME MORE I WOULD END UP BAT CRAP CRAZY SO GIVE ME THE DRUGS!


I guess in my current lucid condition I can see why they may have suggested a re-evaluation instead of handing over prescription medication.

Long story short. I’m not any more crazy than I was four months ago, or even four years ago. The meds stayed the same and I will be calling in refill requests a month in advance. I may even just stockpile them. Along with thousands of hand sanitizing wipes and packets of stolen Sweet & Low. And then I’ll get a bunch of cats and yell at kids who play on my lawn. I could easily become that lady.

In the meantime I am taking good care of myself. I am surrounded by lovely friends who also take good care of me. I have one that stands at my door and sings me songs at the top of her lungs, I have another one who offers copious amounts of cupcakes along with babysitting services, I have yet another one that promises to drag my sorry rear out to dinner and feed me until I can’t think let alone feel. I got dozens of sweet sweet emails, many with funny stories to take my mind of the garbage my brain was trying to pull over on me. I even have one friend who called just to make fun of me.

Thanks you guys.

I am in a wonderful place.

Short of baking my kid to a crisp today at the pool (seriously, has anyone ever heard of one kind of sunscreen negating another kind and actually inviting the burning rays of the sun to suck all life out of tender flesh? Because I swear that’s what happened.) I had a very good day.

I even took my first Pilates class. Yeah, you should be laughing.

Do they sell cores at Costco? I could really use one.


  1. I would SO buy a core at Costco. And what a deal it would be.

    I, myself, am not “officially” crazy, just self-described… but am completely empathetic to those that are all official and all. Much love headed your direction. And margaritas. Can’t forget the margaritas.

    kristis last blog post..Prettiest Mom

  2. My husband suffers from depression. I’ve witnessed the “I should have refilled” rock bottom relapse. It’s not pretty. I’m glad you’re back to a good place.


    Melains last blog post..Love Song Lullaby

  3. So glad to hear you’re feeling better, Casey! Email me anytime if you need to get out and about (or even if you do need a break – the kids would LOVE to play with moosh). Honestly. That’s what we’re here for, right? 🙂
    And, Oooooh. Ahhhh. Pilates. It worked wonders for me. You know. 5 years ago before I got pregnant again. I so need to do it again. Let me know when/if you find a good deal on cores. I’m so there.

    Mandys last blog post..(Sorta, Kinda) Wordless Wednesday – “Friend” party edition

  4. You’re back! 🙂

    I know the prescription ran out feeling all too well. My doc actually prescribed 34 pills instead of 30 just in case. Insurance company just said no to those four tiny little pills. No buffer = call in rx in timely fashion for me!!

    pgoodnesss last blog post..13 years

  5. Pumpkin Ravioli.

    Heathers last blog post..Paging Dr. Google

  6. whoo hoo!

    (as in “whoo hoo you’re feeling better” and not “whoo hoo for Spaghettios.”)

    J Maxfields last blog post..Now this is the kind of Father’s Day soft drink I’m…

  7. I am so happy that you posted this. I’ve been doing that weird thing IRL lately where I’m worrying about my blogger friends even when I’m not blogging. It’s really sad.

    AFRos last blog post..Words Of Wisdom

  8. I heard one of your friends called and you thought she was a meth addict instead. I may or may not be dying of TB, lung cancer…or lung disease. The jury is still out.

    It does my heart good to see you back and posting today. I was worried S I C K about you…literally.

    Kims last blog post..Jewels in the Crown

  9. You had me worried, I usually lurk but, wanted to break traditional lurking in order to comment and say “hang in there” depression is ugly, but YOU are beautiful!!

    Kathryn Scheibmeirs last blog post..Is It Me??

  10. I found my core on Craig’s List but that’s probably why it’s so crappy.

    Annas last blog post..Who doesn’t want to wear the T-shirt?

  11. so glad you are better. i didn’t call my rx in one day – two day and i went nutz. 2 days skipped and i was crazy. never letting that happen.

  12. Sounds like you’re doing better already!

    merrymishapss last blog post..weekly winners

  13. Glad all is looking up… Hate running out of meds and then being all, “Whoops, I actually did need those. Silly me!” (I’ve done it on many an occasion…)

    Zs last blog post..The people you meet

  14. Good to hear that you are back in a good place – I was thinking of you and your family.

  15. Linda in Canada says:

    Good for you, ya little fighter. That’s what it takes to deal with the “ugly, black dog of depression” (Winston Churchill).

    And aren’t we grateful for medication?

    Yep. We are.

  16. Yay! I am so glad you are feeling better 🙂

  17. i think having good friends is HUGE. i’m so glad you are in a good place today. HUGS

    alis last blog post..tide blue. and siyonara.

  18. I’ve dealt with depression. Post-partum and just the “regular”. It sucks. I hate it. I still struggle with it. Wishing you all the best. Truly.

    Dawns last blog post..Happy Birthday Jonathan

  19. I am so glad you are better today, and that you have a great core of friends.

    If you find out whereto buy a core, let me know. I could use one.

    Angellas last blog post..Waterlogged

  20. So glad you’re feeling better! : )

    Jens last blog post..Happy Father’s Day!!!

  21. Meds are good. So so good.
    Glad to hear you’re feeling settled.

    Teris last blog post..Warm Yarn-y Thoughts

  22. Ooh I hope they have cores in different sizes and colors – I definitely need a change!

    Glad you’re feeling better!

    Mary Beths last blog post..LORD DUDLEY … Explorer

  23. I feel for ya. February for me is a real downer. Feeling down in JUNE? Even more not cool. Glad the pool burned you to a crisp btw. I still can’t get wet! Kids are going to the pool today though whether they like it (they do) or not. I’ll be the one in the shade with the laptop attached to my femurs. I got get me one O them wireless thingy’s enabling me to fly online anywhere…hmmm, I need to go shopping. See ya.

    good&crazys last blog post..It’s funny.

  24. It’s crazy how taking your medication actually helps at keeping the depression at bay. I seriously didn’t figure this out until about 2 weeks ago. I would take my medication but I’d forget to take it about every other day. I couldn’t figure out why I just couldn’t shake the depression. Turns out if you take it consistently you feel pretty dang good!

  25. Glad you’re feeling better! It’s amazing how something so simple as forgetting meds can just throw you right out of whack. Much as I hate being dependent on something to make me “normal”, I hate being in the dark, dismal, pit of despair even more!

  26. I’m so glad you have such wonderful friends!! My hubby turns into a mess if he doesn’t get his refills on time…and he is bad about getting those refills.

    I was at Walgreens once and heard a woman screaming at the pharmacists about her Xanax refill. Apparently they gave her the med bottle but no pills inside?! Uh,yeah, right. She was losing it. I was like, give her the meds people, this is gonna get ugly.

    Rheas last blog post..A short tale of a tail.

  27. I could use a torso and thighs from costco.

    Meds are my friends.

    xo ~K

    karla | looking towards heavens last blog post..Where’s my Lasso of Truth?

  28. I am so glad you got your meds and are back writing… If I had had a way to contact you I would have…. I am so with you at this point… depression and all, now and in Feb and have my meds and all that jazz… I just wanted to tell you you’re not alone… I am thrilled you’ve got a support system… it can be the lifeline we all need… Hugs

  29. Oh, good, because I was worried.

    Camilles last blog post..Bed For Sale–Going Cheap. Real Cheap.

  30. So glad you’re feeling better, Casey.

    Pilates. Some days I love them, some days I want to kill them.

    Jennis last blog post..A Late Father’s Day Gift….with Love

  31. I am so glad you are feeling better! I have done things like forget and then be too busy to get my anxiety/depression meds refilled and then everyone around me is sorry when I ‘magically’ turn in to CRAZY BI*CH. Weird.

    Reeses last blog post..Fourteen Days of Hurricane Season

  32. Nice to read your spirit back!

  33. Glad you’re on the mend, my friend.

    andis last blog post..That’s Queen Dumbass to You

  34. Glad you’re feeling better- the running out is awful. I do it too. Then I get all bitchy and realize why.

    If you use Walgreens, they have an automatic refill service you can use, where they’ll just do it automatically and then call/e-mail when it’s ready.

    Rachaels last blog post..TV Tuesday: SYTYCD, Fringe, Hell’s Kitchen and Holy Frakkin’ BSG!

  35. Glad you’re doing better Casey. It’s great you have such a good support system.

    Kristins last blog post..Memories

  36. Just stumbled on your blog from goodness knows where and just wanted to say that I L O V E the picture at the top of your page. Those gorgeous, girly, Dorothy shoes!

    Tara@From Dawn Till Rusks last blog post..So very very wrong – stilettos for babies

  37. welcome back dollface!

    did you get the package i sent your way yet?

    and seriously? you don’t EVEN wanna see this tub-o-lard doing pilates hehe

    Biddys last blog post..le sigh

  38. Did we sync up? Do you think people can sync up crazy like girls sync up periods???

    and what’s with the med problem? I’m currently sans meds… which I think is better than being sans pants.. and have been since last Friday. I have insurance through the temp agency I’m going through, just not for meds. How stupid is that?! So I can go see a doctor… I just can’t get well.

    So far I’m ok… but the edges are blurring… and I’m having major problems with caffeine and every once in a while I get notes from the Depths of Despair… postcards, if you will… letting me know it’s right around the corner, and could I please bring ice as they’ve run out??? thanks…

    Sounds like your support system is as good as mine, though, so I think you’ll be fine and I’ll be fine… I just might go take the ice to the Depths and join that party for a little bit, then stumble home hung -over.

    Cecis last blog post..Lights in the Attic II

  39. i am a hair’s breath away from being THAT lady too! glad you got your meds refilled(-:

    marys last blog post..Which person in this couple would you pick??

  40. I’m glad you have such great support!

    mrs. wilsons last blog post..Sicko

  41. So this means I don’t have to hide my crazy pills when we room together and pretend I’m just popping vitamins?

    My heart swells knowing you’re just as nutty as me.

    Wink, wink.

    Be good to yourself love. I’m thinking you wouldn’t look great bouncing off a rubber wall.

    Redneck Mommys last blog post..I Always Wanted to Be a Rockstar. This is as Close As I’ll Get.