So remember when I was all “OH MY FACE! SO SAD!” in regards to the petichiae that had flared up so badly as a result of all my vomiting?

(For anyone unaware, petichiae are ruptured capillaries just under the surface of the skin, some are raised and bumpy others are flush but bright red…they are most often the result of violent and excessive vomiting.)

petichiae update. 16 weeks.

Well it hasn’t gotten any better. And they’re not going anywhere.

I know darn well they’re there. And I know full well you can see them too. I know the lady at the grocery store could see them because she asked what was wrong with my face. I know every doctor I see can see them because it’s one of the first things they comment on.

I don’t care.

I have stopped trying to cover them with makeup every time I go out. It was not only getting expensive, it was getting ridiculous. I have well moisturized skin, lovely blue eyes, very well behaved lashes very few blemishes and I found a lip color that makes me happy.

All this red rashy blotchiness? It’s part of who I am now, my red badge of courage if you will.

It doesn’t hurt. It’s not contagious. There’s no long term damage.

Many women have stretch marks on various body parts. Many other people have scars from surgeries or marks from injuries sustained in the past. Some people have gaps in their teeth or different color eyes or gray hair. I have a mottled face, proof I sacrificed something worldly society holds in very high esteem in order to get something I wanted.

No one’s ever said “Your face looks stupid, I don’t want to be your friend.”

I mean, people have said mean stuff to me, but generally when people are saying mean things to you? It’s because they’re stupid.

Or something like that.

Repeat after me…

“Love me, love my __________”

Comments

  1. love me, love my big mouth.

    love me, love the spare tire I keep around my waist.

    love me, love my unibrow (when I don’t have time to wax it).

    and I love you…all of you.

    Casey Reply:

    @Katie, I agreed with someone earlier we were going to rename spare tires to cupcake tops because cupcake tops come with frosting.
    And unibrow? Girl, at this moment I have you BEAT!

  2. Love me, love my deep belly button of doom.

    Love me, love my neck scar and the history that lies beneath it.

    Casey Reply:

    @Overflowing Brain (Katie), I can’t wait to see your bellybutton when you’re pregnant, that will prove who the true winner is.

  3. your confidence is amazing… and i love it. You are very beautiful!! when I was pregnant with my 3rd my face broke out like I had rolled around in some french fries or something – or i was possibly entering puberty. I dont know what on earth happened the 3rd time 🙂 – but unlike my 1st two pregnancies, I had no glow – I had full blown acne, and i told my husband it was like morning sickness on my face – i was extremely upset and avoided public at all cost, make up couldnt even cover it – it cleared up some after the 1st trimester, but it took months before i felt normal again… its crazy that i let the worlds “thoughts on beauty” affect me so much…

    i couldnt help what had happened… i shouldnt of been so vain.

    Casey Reply:

    @Drea, It’s so hard when it’s YOUR FACE! Something everyone looks at no matter what. I had a hard time with my face too, I almost wished for stretchmarks because at least I could cover those up, yet I’m grateful for the lesson my face has taught me this time around.

    Drea Reply:

    @Casey, awe yea stretch marks… phew got those BAD – yet id never admit it on my blog – its something im still not comfortable with. Although i mention it all over the place elsewhere, I make no sense LOL – I had no stretch marks until week 37 with my 1st pregnancy, and it was down hill from there.

    Im tiny too… my mom has none, so I thought forsure that be me too.. nope 🙂 The Lord has taught me a lot about being content with how we are created… and despite flaws we are still beautiful and just the way he wanted. Its all for a reason right? 🙂

    But you are right, you can hide SM’s – to a degree any way…

  4. You are delightful, and I’d rather be delightful and have petichiae than look perfect and have the personality of a shoe. (That said, I marvelled at the porcelin skin on your neck–lovely! So you do have that going for you 🙂

    Casey Reply:

    @Mrs4444, As I said in my email to you, youth. Totally wasted on the young. 🙂

  5. Oh, and P.S. My husband’s grandma (when someone complained that someone else had passed gas) always chirped, “Love me, love my stink!”

  6. and you know there’s a light at the end of the petichiae tunnel.

    love me, love my belly that gave me 4 babies, including a set of twins, that won’t go anywhere, no matter how fit i am. and i’m pretty fit.

    Casey Reply:

    @mommymae, any belly that can produce four babies is fit in so many ways in my book.

  7. Good attitude!

    Casey Reply:

    @Holly, As long as I don’t walk through department store makeup departments? I can keep it up. Most of the time. 🙂

  8. Dang that is intense. Yeah I totally thought my stomach flu was bad, this is worse. You win. You totally win because you have a cute baby growing inside of you and I don’t!

    Love me love my belly that looks like an elephant’s butt. The abdominal wall was ripped in half so it buldges out like a butt and the skin is so stretched with the meanest stretch marks in the world. Exactly like an elephant’s butt. Love me love my elephant butt belly.

    Casey Reply:

    @Damaris @Kitchen Corners, My belly is *thisclose* to herniating, so elephant butt belly? You’ll be in good company in the coming months!!

  9. Love me, love my weight. I’ve been overweight since I was 9 years old. I’ve tried just about every diet to come around the bend and my weight has fluctuated over years, but I’ve never been thin (or even remotely close to it). So, now that I am 35 years old, I’m tired of trying to be what the world thinks I should be, thin. That most likely will never happen for me. I won’t give up trying to be healthy and fit, but I won’t kill myself to do it. So, keep your comments about my weight to yourself and take a good long look in the mirror. None of us are perfect and that is the way God planned it.

    Your red face is beautiful (and so is your pregnant belly, which I envy)!

    Casey Reply:

    @Melissa, The world should really learn to mind it’s own business.
    As an earlier commenter said, I’d rather have my flaws than the personality of a shoe.

    Biddy Reply:

    @Melissa, you pretty much just read my mind! i’ve always been the fat girl, no matter what i try and I’m actually learning to be OK with it

  10. heather bays says:

    my very large over pronounced thighs that I have discovered in the last year can out squat my husband, out lunge my friends and out leg extend many men at the gym. They are big, they aren’t pretty like Beyonce’s, they aren’t slim like Carrie Underwoods and they don’t look that great in a pair of shorts but they are STRONG!!!

    Casey Reply:

    @heather bays, Dude, my thighs are really meaty, short and thick but ready for some serious @$$ kicking at a moments notice.

  11. @Elizabeth Kaylene, I love a good autoimmune disease, especially if it means I can bring you soup.

  12. I get that too when I vomit. Particularly on my eyelids.

    And clearly I hear you given my struggle with acne this past year. You go girl.

    Casey Reply:

    @Aimee Giese | Greeblemonkey, I adore your burned corneas. (never thought I’d say that one.)

  13. love me, love my bat wings, extra chins, and my big ol belly…oh and my stretch marks…lawsy mercy the stretch marks!

    Casey Reply:

    @Biddy, Addie thinks stretch marks make you look like a tiger.
    And tigers are awesome.

  14. Love me, love my thighs. And the facial hair I work hard to conceal or remove every single day. Maintaining TWO eyebrows is tough work. 🙂 Never said that “out loud.” Thanks for giving me the courage.