HI!

I LIVE IN A HOTEL!

AND NOT A NICE ONE!

IT KIND OF SMELLS LIKE FERMENTED DRYER SHEETS THAT HAVE BEEN STORED WITH CHEESE AND OLD SOCKS!

(If anyone has one of those Sharper Image BlueAir Purifier Destinkifier things in Indianapolis can I please borrow it? plzkthx.)

The best part of the entire night was going from hotel to hotel looking for somewhere that fit into our budget that didn’t come with free continental breakfast and a complimentary STD. Somewhere around hotel #2 the moosh started whining “BUT MOM, WHERE ARE WE GOING TO LIVE? DAD? WHERE CAN I SLEEP TONIGHT?”

Cody suggested we just hand over the phone number to CPS and save the hotel clerk the trouble of looking it up.

The good news is that the moosh thinks that living in a hotel is the most awesome thing ever. Also? I won’t have to make my bed for a month, I will never run out of ice and you bet your butt we scored a place with free breakfast that includes waffles. I also brought my own bedspread because my dad watches those Dateline shows where they take a UV light to hotel bedspreads and EW YUCK BLECH! (P.S. Daddy? I already searched for bedbugs and corpses in the box springs, thankfully there’s neither.)

The bad news is that where my bare flesh is touching the pillow has started to itch, there’s only a (closed) outdoor pool, the moosh is sleeping on a fold out couch and hello? We are living in a two star hotel for a month.

Also? I found a skidmarked pair of gentleman’s underpants in the nightstand drawer.

Let’s just say I bought a really big can of Lysol. Because I did. And I used it. All.

We’ll most likely be staying in this tiny hotel room for Thanksgiving. The really good news? Thanks to Turkey School I know how to cook a turkey in the microwave (which I have, along with a minifridge. MINIFRIDGE FTW!)

November should be interesting. Home renovations (the old carpet has been ripped out!) Feeding my family three square meals with nothing but a minifridge and a microwave (recipes please? besides EasyMac?) and apparently strangers underpants (hopefully this one was a one time occurrence.)

Comments

  1. My brother makes egg mcmuffins in the microwave. He scrambles an egg and puts it in a cup and microwaves it for 1-2 minutes (depending on the microwave).
    I make a lot of soups in the microwave (and spagetti sauce)…that way I don’t have to worry about them burning while they cook for hours on end. Before I had the rice cooker, I would rice in the microwave, then add some seasonings and a can of beans and heat for a few minutes. When my mom got her first microwave (in 1979) she would even bake with it. I asked her for recipes and she said who needs recipes when you can buy it already made!

    Good luck!

    K

  2. Wow. Hang in there!

  3. Hey– you forgot free papers:)
    Generally Indy Star and USA Today.

    Also– you’ll be racking up hotel points–so that’s a good thing:)

    Make friends with the staff and you’ll be made in the shade.

  4. You are a good sport. I hope it goes by quickly for you!

  5. we have a spare room and plenty of room for Turkey Day. Of course, the spare room is in PHX….that could be a problem

  6. Please add me to your Indy blogging tour.

    We are having Thanksgiving on Friday this year. My parents + 2 brothers are coming down, but you’re welcome to join us for a second feast if you want.

    And if you’re all booked up for Turkey Days, you MUST come over for a kitchen-cooked meal some other time, mmmmkkaay?

  7. Dude. You need a Tupperware stack cooker. Pretty sure you can find them on eBay or Amazon. You can cook a 3-course meal all at once in the microwave in that baby.

    Or hell, add me to your little Indy Road Trip and you can borrow mine.

  8. Eesh. I feel kinda itchy on your behalf.

    Has anyone mentioned Crock-Pots yet?? I mean, I don’t know if you are a big Crock-Pot cooker, but there is a lot you can make with them that doesn’t suck or involve canned condensed soup. Go find “not your mother’s slow-cooker cookbook…”

    Although… the thought of cleaning out a crock-pot in a hotel sink makes me itch also…

    Can’t wait to see how your new home turns out!! 🙂

  9. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

  10. Good thinking on the own bedspread. My sister calls the hotel ones “sperm blankets” and now it’s stuck. When I see a hotel bedspread I think sperm. Ugh!

  11. Bwahahahaha, you are ASKING for microwave recipes? Don’t you know Amalah? I just assumed you would. But maybe you’ve been too busy lately to have seen THIS…

    http://www.amalah.com/amalah/2009/10/microwavery-in-action.html

  12. OMG. The underwear. GAG.

    It will all be worth it, lady. Think of it as an adventure! 🙂

  13. Have you seen this guy?

    http://www.seriouseats.com/2009/08/video-how-to-cook-a-meal-in-your-hotel-room-george-egg.html

    Of course, he seems to be staying in a hotel that probably has more than 2 stars. Also, I don’t know that many American hotels have kettles. You could use a coffee maker? Maybe? (Being a Mormon, I have no idea how a coffee maker works)

  14. If you would like to head south, you can come to my house for Thanksgiving! We don’t have any family close, so it’s just us. Our first lonely Thanksgiving! So, if you find yourself in Georgia, come on over!

  15. We spent a week in Vermont last October in a condo. Yes, we had a kitchen; but who wants to spend all day in it when you’re supposed to be doing things like touring Ben and Jerry’s factory?

    What I did that worked great: *larger* crockpot; various roasts; various root vegetables; and dressing or dressing mixes. One good one was a chicken, with an apple, onion, and several turnips (you could use potatoes, but turnips turn out non-bitter in a crockpot, more like a more interesting version of a potato than an overgrown radish), and then an herb-garlic dressing mix(and of course some water). Was fabuloso. Another good one was a pork roast, with an onion, several carrots and turnips, a couple of pears, and a bottle of raspberry vinaigrette, which was suprisingly good. And I also did a beef roast with a mix of various veggies and an Italian dressing mix. You can also use those little soy sauce packages with any of these–helps tenderize it.

    I have a whole cookbook written by Dana Carpender of Bloomington that I’ve not yet had a bad thing from, and many of the recipes are very simple.

    Oh, and here’s a good soup where you just empty the cans into the crockpot: one can mackerel or salmon (or 2 cans tuna); one can corn; two cans crushed tomatoes with Italian herbs, and about a cup of rice. On the stove you’d just simmer it for 20 minutes, but in the crockpot, it needs at least an hour–or use instant rice, about 2 cups.

    Hope these help!