“No, there is no ghost in the woods with a bloody chainsaw that cuts people in half.”

“No, that’s not a ghost, it’s just geese fighting on the roof.”

“Please don’t milk your (stuffed) puppy, it won’t work the way you think it will.”

“Take off on your bike again without asking and I’ll cut off your feet.”

“I’m pretty sure the magicians coat was not made out of colored bunnies.”


I find myself saying weirder things in perfectly normal situations everyday.

send help.


  1. AHH…. the threat of maiming one’s child… I can’t wait for those days.

    I asked Tyler yesterday what I should blog about next, to which he answered, “uhhhmmm… eyebrows.”

    I’ll do my best to accommodate.

  2. Clearly the moosh is awesome. The end.

    And also has a very active imagination.

  3. awesomeness…
    my favorite quote from my life lately?
    “exactly how did the snail bite your butt??…are you sure it was a snail??”
    he was positive.
    how awesome being a parent.

  4. It warms my heart when mothers and their children converse about chainsaws…

    My latest favorite was my daughter asking about my ABC-loving son’s nightmare, “Ohhh… did the Alphabet attack you?”

  5. After a while, they have you feeling like you haven’t had an intelligent conversation in a week. It usually takes about a day.

  6. Too funny.

  7. I’m totally using the cut-your-feet-off threat next time my 7 y/o disappears on her bike. That’s some good stuff right there.

    I had to tell my son last Sunday, “We leave our pants on at church.” The things you never thought you’d actually have to say as a parent.

  8. But there totally IS a ghost in the woods!

  9. I wouldn’t be so sure about that coat… magicians can be tricky.

  10. Wait til she’s in school. The weird goes to a new level.

  11. When I had to explain to my son that it was a household rule that underwear must be worn to the dinner table, I knew I’d hit a new low :o)

  12. Ohh Betsy! says:

    To be perfectly honest, if we were neighbors you would be saying the same thing to me daily only replace “ghosts” with “crazy murderer”. Wooded areas + me = irrational fears.

  13. You little Moosh has a awesome imagination I am sure of it! My little one keeps asking what will happen if a dog wants to be a human. What will happen if she eats a stick. Questions along those lines.

  14. Haha, I have many, many questions.

  15. Oh my goodness the things that I say on a daily basis amaze me, even after 9 years!

  16. Yup. My favorite quote from yesterday was, “Dean, do NOT put the golf club in the VCR again!” Please, Jesus, let swimming lessons start soon!

  17. I really think these snippets ought to be come mandatory bits that you share.

  18. Conversational lines overheard at my house this week:
    “No, Thomas the Train is not going to sneak into your room and scare you.”
    “Yes I love you, even if I’m tempted to sell you on E-Bay.”
    “Even though watching Mommy cook is alot like watching ‘Top Chef” you may NOT give a score at the end of the meal.”
    “If you put those fingers up your nose again, I will cut them off.”

    Obviously maiming is a universal threat for mothers everywhere.

  19. I don’t know how many times I have to daily remind my girls to not touch their “parts” in public. know what I mean?

  20. BWAHAHA!!!! i love the bike one…

    just this morning, paul said to jackson, “thanks for caressing my arm with the hand that’s been inspecting your grundle for the last 10 minutes.”

    coffee nearly came out of my nose yet paul remained entirely serious.

  21. Hahaha, I love that you reassured her that there was no ghost after her head, and then threatened to cut off her feet. You know how to instill the fear!