When your best friend in the whole entire world and your dearest closest newest friend who means the world to you both tell you that they’re pregnant in the same week a plethora of feelings come bubbling to the surface.

Most of them unpleasant and requiring some form of repentance.

While I am incredibly happy and excited for my friends (really!) these were the third and fourth pregnancies I found out about in the last two weeks. After a round of bitter jealousy and a little tiny pity party, I have chosen the higher *snort* road.  I call it the Neener Neener Road. Allow me to take you on a little tour.

On the right you’ll see the diaper shack. I have not had to enter the diaper shack for over three months and nor will I have to enter it for the next ten at least. No poopy diapers to change for AT LEAST A YEAR? Neener neener.

Over here on the left you’ll see the diaper bag emporium. Haven’t had to go into that store for over a year and a half. Instead I shop at the “cute stylish handbag you would never dream of carrying bottles in” store down the street. Neener neener.

Speaking of bottles. I haven’t had to make a bottle in over 28 months. I’m not even sure I remember how. Think of all that money saved on formula (because it was physically impossible for me to nurse) and time saved on washing bottles. Not to mention that I haven’t found a forgotten bottle of curdled stinky milk in a corner for almost two and a half years. Neener neener.

Up there on the hill you’ll see my bed. The bed I slept in for eight hours straight last night. I could have gone to bed when the moosh went to bed and gotten a solid twelve hours but that’s kind of overkill isn’t it? Neener neener.

And last if you’ll just direct your attention to my waist. Yes right there. Twenty eight inches and not a hint of stretch marks. Yes. I do believe this qualifies for a big neener neener.

So there you have it, you pregnant people in my life. You may be relishing in the joys of stretchy pants and blissful new baby smell, but I am relishing in the one curly haired heiress I have contributed to society and becoming okay with the fact that she may be my only contribution.

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Take that bunk lady parts. NEENER NEENER.

Comments

  1. I should develop a Neener Neener list. I think it would be totally helpful at making me feel better about some things in my life.

    Although not as helpful as a piece of your cake. Compared to cake, the Neener Neener list kinda sucks.

    (Sorry. Cake beguiles me every damn time.)

    Loralee’s last blog post..Because I’m vain enough to believe that is exactly what you’ve all been dying to read, right?!

  2. All good points, my lady. Especially the sleep part. ESPECIALLY the sleep part. And your tiny waist is enviable indeed. 😛

    Must be Motherhood’s last blog post..And just how BIG of a shock is it?

  3. love this.

    and yes, you forgot to mention your womanly curves and itty bitty waist. that’s worth a mention.

    erin’s last blog post..almost.

  4. Why in the world was I just creating my same Neener Neener list about the same subject this weekend? How appropriate for you to have blogged this!!! I found out – the same week I miscarried – that 3 of my friends were due during my due date week….2 on the exact same day. So while I’m sitting at their baby showers and coveting their HUGE bumps (although I will be happy for them, I will), I’ll kindly remind myself that those bumps will soon become screamers….and the bumps are just that – bumps….while my butt is at the gym looking hawt for my hubby. How’s that for neener neener? We need to make this honorary Neener Neener week!

  5. I have been MIA in the comments on your blog (and others) but wanted to drop in and say hi. And that I LOVE this post. Way to see the glass as half full.
    And by the way, I really do enjoy reading your blog. Unless I’m reading about your fall down the stairs…I didn’t enjoy that. I actually made my stomach drop. Glad you’re okay.

    Rachel’s last blog post..St. Patrick’s Day Singing

  6. Oh, I know the Neener Neener road. My list is different, but in the same spirit.

    This was awesome. Not that I expected anything less from you. 😉

    xoxo

    Angella’s last blog post..But The Greatest Of These Is Love

  7. Yes. Neener Neener Road is the must-traveled path when conquering baby fever/jealousy. I’m learning to relish in my spontaneous weekends away with my hubby, the freedom to sit in hot tubs if I want, and to enjoy a glass of wine or two … here or there…

    (but that doesn’t mean that deep down inside, I’m not still chomping at the bit to get this flipping IUD out of me and just TRY ALREADY!)

    hang in there…

  8. Wait wait wait! Is Kim pregnant?!

    Olivia’s last blog post..Tip of the Week

  9. at least you have a good attitude about it all 😉 lol.

    Congrats to your friends and you will have your day…and you can get all of their hand-me-downs. 🙂

    staciesmadness’s last blog post..Sobering Thought

  10. Those are some powerful Neeners in your corner. I think you’d win that fight.

    Melain’s last blog post..In Conclusion: I am definitely straight.

  11. Not that I’m in the same position because I’m not trying to get pregnant but lately I’ve been basking in the happiness that is having one child. Sometimes I get petrified thinking of having not sleep again – especially without key cable channels to keep me company at night.

    P.S. Your new camera is amazing and the pictures you’ve taken are brilliant.

    Anna’s last blog post..Shamrock Star

  12. I love you Casey! You and all you Neener Neeners!

    sam’s last blog post..Alone with My Internetz Can’t Be So Bad

  13. Great post. But the thing that struck me most — I’m just glad to see that I’m not the only one that has found stinky cottage cheese bottles in the corner!

    Mitch’s last blog post..SSG Collin J Bowen, January 18, 1970 – March 14, 2008

  14. I love this post because it’s so totally TRUE! I used to have a teeny bit of sadness that I wasn’t blessed with a second child. Now, I can’t help but get the neener neeners when I look at my friends who are still dealing with blow-out poop up the back. Heh heh.

    BTW – love your blog 🙂

    mommypie’s last blog post..Nothing Says St. Patty’s Like Green Pants and A Bag ‘o Trash

  15. I can’t remember the last time I got 8 hours of sleep. Neener neener to me.

    Zellmer’s last blog post..Happy Birthday to my Blog

  16. I fell asleep at the wheel and missed the Neener Neener road exit. Instead, I ended up back on the baby road. While I adore my 16 month old, after nearly 6 years of no baby duties it was a shock to the system…still is. I’m trying to relish in the wonders of infancy and toddlerhood, but honestly I’m looking forward to seeing the sign that reads Road Ends 500 feet ahead.

    Trish’s last blog post..Do You Think I’ll Earn a Badge for This?

  17. the fact that you commented at all has me giddy…sorry you choose a revealing, self exposing post. 🙂

    Thanks for you comment, it really is nice to see.

    staciesmadness’s last blog post..Sobering Thought

  18. I too just got news of yet ANOTHER pregnancy yesterday. I cried cursing my lady parts for not working and the self- pitty parties are getting lame.

    So, I too will take the Neener Neener Road.
    Good thoughts.

    But my uterus still aches while waiting…

  19. That tiny waist with no stretchmarks is the biggest neener neener!! Believe me, I felt the sting of it on Saturday *lol* You keep yourself happily in neener neener land…you’ve earned it 😀

    Sadie’s last blog post..Apparently I was overreacting…

  20. Oh, Neener Neener road, I’ve traveled along your twisty curves so many times. And not necessarily because of baby envy. Just me and my pettiness at being jealous over every OTHER thing imaginable. Your tiny waist? One of them. It’s a problem. I know. 😀
    I’m sure we’d all agree that your contribution of the Moosh is about as good as it gets!! Take care!

    Mandy’s last blog post..Tender Thoughts Tuesday

  21. But wait.. don’t forget that you don’t have to walk around for hours with secret baby puke down your back.

    Laura’s last blog post..Getting burned

  22. I feel sad for my friend.

  23. I feel the same way, only I really DON’T want kids right now (way too young for that, I am). But still, I feel a delightful little twinge of neener-neener-ness every time I see squawking kids in Wal-Mart.

    Camille’s last blog post..The Big Day–Update #4

  24. Relishing the stretchy pants? Um, yeah, not so much. If you are sad even the teensiest bit about not being pregnant, you just drop me a line, and I’ll complain your ear off about being eight months pregnant. And the HUGE NEW PURPLE STRETCH MARKS I am developing.

    Anth’s last blog post..Tagged by Becca! to Reveal the Secrets of My Fab Marital Union

  25. This is hard! Double announcements? I’m actually pregnant (don’t go all neener neener on me) and I still envy women who look better or seem like they are enjoying it more than me. Because sometimes I don’t. Add that to your list.. not feeling totally conflicted like all the time..

    Binkytown’s last blog post..Then=Now

  26. neener neener list eh? perfect! we all have green grass and what a neat way of looking at it.

    then again, sometimes other grass is fresher or at least we think it’s fresher (hmmm… could be the diapers?) 🙂

    Holly’s last blog post..Toss It Up Tuesday (6)

  27. Oh, and don’t forget the hunt for the missing “binky” or “passy” or the blankie or lovey or whatever! Gah!

    And to your “woman parts” I say, “Get with the program!”.

    Love & Hugs!

    Jazz’s last blog post..Alright! Enough!

  28. I think the Neener road is a good place to be. In fact, take Neener road south, all the way to somewhere warm, put on a 2 piece and strut that smooth tummy of yours. You deserve it my friend! Wish I could do the smooth tummy strut….Piper ruined that for me a long time ago.

    ellinghouse’s last blog post..Bingo! – Babyjamz style

  29. Oh I remember that feeling well, when I was going thru my miscarriages and a coworker got pregnant “because that was what she was supposed to do”. I had that feeling of wanting to throttle her. I’m passed it all now (that was a few years ago) but it was awful while it was happening. I’ll go down Neener Neener Road with you.

    Kristin’s last blog post..Parenting

  30. Oh, how I spend many a day walking down Neener Neener Road to Half-Full Pond, where I put on my Bitter Bikini and swim in the water. Wait, did I take that metaphor too far? 😉

    Heather’s last blog post..Happy St. Patrick’s Day

  31. You go, Neener Lady. We found out yesterday that my sister-in-law is pregnant. Ack. My fiance and I both are happy for her but sad that she beat us to it.

    Reese’s last blog post..The Demon Rears It’s Ugly Head

  32. The 8 hours of sleep is worth 345 neeners!

  33. 28 inches? no stretch marks?

    i hate you. ok, i love you. but dang, 28 inches? sickening

    Biddy’s last blog post..my latest musical obsession

  34. 28 inches? Jeeze.

    Anna at Hank and WIllie’s last blog post..How to charm me

  35. Loved this post, Casey! You know, even though I’m one of those people who is in the depths of Neener-Neenerville with my straight 4 hours of sleep last night – woot! – and slogging along all that baby crap with me wherever I go. Not to mention the fact that my waist hasn’t been a 28 since, well, ever.

    andi’s last blog post..Crutch

  36. Speaking for all of us who have been have detoured off the Parental Path because of a bypass on MarriedWay via NoHusbandinSight Street and BioClockRunningOut Boulevard, we look forward to joining you on Neener Neener Road. Block party soon?

    Auntie Nettie’s last blog post..RIP Arthur C. Clarke/Star Sightings

  37. what a sad post. you almost masked it all in your wit (which is very witty, by the way) but i can feel the sadness.

    sad on many levels.

    i sad for your “friends” who undoubtedly had a hard time telling you. probably for fear that you would react the way that you did.

    i feel sad for you because it is quite obvious that you wish you could have stretch marks and make bottles and hear screaming in the night.

    this post makes me sad.

    but happy for your friends. what an incredible miracle in their lives–as it is when any baby enters a home in whatever avenue it may be. i wonder if you would have had the same reaction were they placed with a baby through adoption.

    sad.

    mrs. r’s last blog post..kiss me, i’m irish

  38. Wow, Mrs. R sure knows how to kill a room.

    Heather’s last blog post..Happy St. Patrick’s Day

  39. Ah, yes. I’m a frequent visitor of Neener Neener Road. Thanks for the laugh!

    Holly’s last blog post..By: Lechelle

  40. but what a freakin’ awesome contribution she is! 😉

    ali’s last blog post..i’ve got answers…and a mug shot

  41. Great post. I am especially envious of the 28 inch waist, as someone that is 38 weeks pregnant right now (I am not bragging you know how uncomfortable it is at that point) and no waist in site, your list is making me a little jealous. Oh the good and bad times that await me. I just want to smile, cry and scream all at the same time. Enjoy your neener neener time.

    Christina’s last blog post..Poor sick little girl

  42. I wanted to say something witty and comforting, but I can’t get past 28 inches.

    Shania’s last blog post..Those crazy cats!

  43. Great post! You deserve a little bit of neener-neenering now and then!

    Erin’s last blog post..bayball.

  44. Christina says:

    I’m in the same boat as you, sorta. I found out last year that I have cervical cancer and that I’ll never be able to have kids, and by the time I get into a steady enough relationship to freeze my eggs and try (in layman terms about that stuff.. I have all the ingredients, my oven is just broken) it’ll be too late. I will never be able to have my own children. I am only 20. I agree with the fact that I can go buy purses and not have to think about how milk will ruin it. Or have to budget in formula or diapers. I think that your neener neener list is great bc it is a way to vent. However, I am always jealous to see anyone pregnant. 3 of my best friends have gotten pregnant, and now I have 2 lovely god daughters. My other friend opted for an abortion (due to reasons that I reluctantly accepted because I don’t believe in abortion) and I was pissed because she was giving up the one thing I could never have.

    I am with you, your venting is perfect, and also I am sorta in the same boat with you. But on the same note, I may wicked jealous and pissed at some people for having or opting not to have children. I don’t bash them because I believe that God did this for some reason (one that I cannot fathom at the moment). I love reading all your posts and I’m glad to have seen things be reconciled between you and your friend.

    Wishing you and the Moosh the best..

    Crisi
    SLC

  45. I love this post. It was honesty at its best, don’t change a thing. We all need to walk on the neener neener road now and again without any judgment!!!

    You ROCK!

  46. NEVER feel guilty for these feelings. NEVER.

    Erika Jurney’s last blog post..Why school is not for boys. At least not Mike.

  47. “Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.” Bill Cosby

    I certainly don’t think any differently of you for handling your pain in whatever way you needed to. *smooches to you*

    Queen of Shake Shake’s last blog post..Why Aunt Flo, Why?

  48. Amen Sister!!! Thanks for putting my feeling into words.

Trackbacks

  1. […] OOH! More me! ← Neener Neener Road. […]

  2. […] on the phone with my best friend Kim, apologizing for the unintentional mess I made yesterday with this post. To make a long story short I had no idea that so many of Kim’s friends lurk on here. […]