Anybody remember the boy I told you about? Patrick?

The one that got away with crushing me and breaking my heart?

Anyone? Anyone?

If you don’t remember or need a refresher course go read about him here and I’ll wait.

After writing that I realized that I’m not alone in the unfinished business department. An awful lot of you have boyfriends who hold a strong hold on your hearts. Stronger than they should have.

Well, I called him.

I called my unfinished business.

I called Patrick.

I was looking for closure.

What I found was a whole lot of nervous energy and twitchyness.

He’s engaged. Lives in a house. Has a job and three dogs.

He’s incredibly normal. (And he may even be reading this…HI IF YOU ARE.)

Nothing like what I had built him up to be in my head after all these years.

Truthfully? I’m kinda disappointed.

But incredibly relieved.

My heart rate no longer quickens and my stomach no longer drops at the thought of him. In fact, he never even crosses my mind anymore. So much so that I just barely remembered to write this and I talked to him over two weeks ago.

Kinda anti-climatic huh?


It’s life as usual.

Only now with closure and a lot less baggage.


  1. i feel like i’ve said this to you before, but you are one brave woman.

    i’m glad there has been some closure.

    oh, and i love your new picture of cody with the moosh. oh, so cute!

  2. I have been there…so glad you are there now.

  3. Sigh.

  4. Ok, there is a guy who I dated, was friends with (he didn’t break my heart- it was a mutual break up) in high school. I sent him an e-mail via myspace, b/c for some reason he pops into my head now and again. I think I felt like he seemed lost our senior year and wanted to see if he was ok. He never e-mailed me back. And now I am embarrased. I am so glad I told someone! I feel better.

  5. What was Cody’s whole take on you calling him?

  6. I found mine on facebook. Made him a friend, exchanged a few e-mails and realized that I’m one lucky chick to have been dumped by his looser ass. He’s a complete man whore now, not to mention still self absorbed and stuck in his teens.

    For a long time, the spector of him kinda lurked between me and the husband (as in for the last 20 years). It’s gone now, and am I ever grateful that I did contact him because it made me realize that I was clinging onto some sort of fantasy that never really existed.

    The husband knew that I contacted him, and I even invited him to read the e-mails as I didn’t want any weirdness between us.

    Closure is awesome.

  7. Hmmmm. Perhaps this contact was a bit of necessary vindication for Casey’s recent bevvy of admirers?
    Closure’s a great thing.

  8. That would be CODY’s admirers.
    You have plenty of your own, of course! 😛

  9. Ha! I love it, you are ballsy.

  10. Man, I wish I had the guts.

  11. So, what did Cody think about all this? Because I’m dying to contact my ex husband. You know, just because.

  12. Wow. I can’t believe you called. Good for you. I know my one is married. But he is his wife’s problem now. I wonder if she knows that while they were engaged he was still calling me. I stopped answering. That was my closure. If he will cheat on his soon to be wife, who needs him. I got the better deal.

  13. Glad you got your closure! Must feel like a huge weight lifted. And wow. You are brave!

    I think most of us have someone from our past who requires closure. Glad you got yours!

  14. i also dream of closure with a bf from high school. but in my dream i am 20 lbs liter and he starts touching my thighs….

    and well it is just not approriate for a married woman to enter into a conversation with someone she has sex dreams about.

  15. Sooooo been there.

    I still have the thoughts and the WhatIfs about him… but it’s different now. I’m married with a child, and one on the way; he’s engaged. Life moves on. Sometimes we just have to let it.

    Glad you got rid of some of that baggage.

  16. Makes me sad to say, but my dude still makes me swoon, and its not my husband. I dread the day I see him again, because I know the dude will grab me in a big bear hug, and I’ll go weak in the knees… again.

    Tis a good thing my hubby doesn’t read your site.

  17. Dude, I have one of those two. I wrote about him a few months ago. I wish I had the balls to call him and get some closure, but I’m afraid it would be a bit stalkerish. I’m afraid his mental reaction would be, “dude, get over it all ready.” Ack. I guess it all goes back to my fear that our 4 year relationship was more important to me than it was to him. OK, enough with MY crap!

    I’m so glad you got closure. How wonderful that must feel. That’s great.

  18. Bossy is so old, all her closure done closed.

  19. wow. i wish i had your guts (well, not really your GUTS, cuz that would be … um … messy and kinda weird).

    seriously, tho, there’s nothing like closure.

  20. I think we build them up in our heads. I have such fond memories of an old boyfriend and finally I caught up with him.
    No magic after we talked. He was still very nice and funny and all that jazz but I realized I was stuck on the past…not him in the present.

  21. good for you for going after your closure. i’d never have the balls 🙂

  22. I wish I had the guts to do that. I bet I’d find out that he wasn’t “all that” anymore. I’ll just pretend I called him and get on with things. 🙂

  23. I ran into mine last week. It made me realize how much I love my husband. Kinda’ neat how that works, huh?

  24. Man. My Patrick (by another name) is only now starting to not be a total screw-up, which makes the whole situation worse.
    I don’t know what I would do if I actually ran into him. Scary even thinking about it.

  25. been there done that (it was a long 15 or so years of wondering)
    BUT, once the bridge was crossed and we both saw each other “for reals”, it was “wow, I shoulda done this a long time ago. Not what I imagined…etc etc etc.”