For anyone who’s wondered if they’re the only one that has had to stay silent and focused on something while someone else was around so you wouldn’t start inconsolably crying? You’re not.

To anyone else who has wondered if they’re the only one who has held their breath while being hugged so that they wouldn’t have the breath to let a muffled sob? You’re not.

Choking back tears is exhausting. But sometimes letting them go is even more tiresome because once they come they won’t stop and most of the time you’re just left with itchy puffy eyes and a cry headache.

I’m not sure what’s happening to me this time around. Weather? Holidays? Pregnancy? Honest to goodness chemical imbalance knocked even more off balance by the previous three troubles?

I’m not afraid to ask for help and I’m not ashamed to accept it.

I just really wish I didn’t need it.

out back