The Teeny Yellow Bikini Project.

Yes I’m doing something that requires a bikini in 28 days. No I’m not going to tell you what.

Why not?


So there.

(For those of you who know, SHHH. Or I’ll bust an Avada Kedavra. Don’t think I won’t. Try me, I dare you. For those of you who don’t speak Potterese it means I’LL KILL YOU AND IT WILL HURT.)

I’m posting this project because I want to be accountable to all of you, dear readers, if I’m the one in the corner wrapped up in lots and lots of fabric in 28 days.

Are you angry?

Well, sorry.

I’m a tease, just ask my husband. (Well, don’t. That could get awkward.)

Here, look at my kid popping a bubble with her tongue.

That should distract you.

Hopefully you’ll see me dressed in a lot less in 28 days.

(Whew, never thought I see myself typing that.)


  1. Hmm. I’m intrigued.

  2. Oh my. That’s all I can say.

  3. hmmm, very interesting and intriguing. I’ll provide emotional support… GET YOUR HANDS OUT OF THOSE COOKIES!

    how’s that?

  4. scandelous!

    you can do it!

  5. Good luck. You CAN DO IT!

  6. not even a hint? party pooper! 😉
    good luck! rootin’ for ya!

  7. hmmmm….I’m with ya. I just had a baby 2 months ago and am going to Hawaii in 3 weeks. You can only imagine how excited I am so see that bathing suite….

  8. Does Moosh not mind the taste?

    Of the bubble. Not the bikini. Very few people should be tasting that. Never mind.

  9. I am envious (that ugly green monster of mine again) that you would even CONSIDER wearing a bikini. That ended in the third trimester of my first pregnancy for me.

    You go! Wear a bikini for all of us wrinkly belly mamas! Do us proud!

  10. Fine. Don’t tell us. I won’t tell you where I’LL be in 28 days then either. OK – you forced it out of me. I’ll be here in this chair watching Elmo. HA! Jealous much?

  11. Now I totally have that song stuck in my head. Thank YOU! And you have to tell us WHY and WHERE… you KNOW you do. We’ll wear you down eventually.

  12. What the heck!? I’m so confused…

  13. I have been here a few times before (visiting from Simply Me) and this time I had to comment on how stinkin’ funny I think you are! You are totally being added to my faves list!

  14. I can Not wait!

  15. The tongue again! I can’t get over it.

    And the project…hmm, consider me intrigued.

  16. Ohmygosh. I think you are beautimous as you are. If some mystery project makes you even hawter than you already are, then i will just orgasm at the very picture of you in less clothing.

  17. My aren’t you mysterious these days ? First you don’t tell us where you are in the blogosphere and then this…

  18. I’m definitely curious (he says as he blushes but can’t help but look…er I mean lurk).

  19. Just as long as this tale doesn’t end up back on The Treadmill.

  20. I want to know what’s happening in 28 days. I’m sure you’ll fabulous!

  21. K, you’re killing me here. But that picture is pretty darn cute.

  22. no fair tell!

  23. Umm…wait…see you? You mean you’re posting pictures?!

  24. Consider me tuned in, because that looks pretty darn hot.

  25. Here I am reading blogs because I’m trying to relax enough to sleep … but now I’m so curious, I’ll be counting bikinis instead of sheep …

  26. your child’s tongue could put gene simmons to shame…

    and how dare you not tell your non-active lesbian lover what your project is!?

    consider me hurt…

  27. Okay, I’ll preface this with I’m totally not being judmental. I’m just really curious.

    I understand that you are Mormon. Having lots of Mormons in my family and raised as one, I thought bikinis were not considered modest by the church. Can you enlighten me? Maybe all my Mormon sisters (3 Mormon, 1 Not) just are more conservative? My one sister doesn’t even allow swimming on Sunday. Are these personal preferences or church dictates?

    Again, more power to you on the bikini. Good luck!I wish I could feel comfortable in one, but my three pregnancies left me with a tummy with so many stretch marks that it looks like a map that Expedia would be proud of.

  28. Scout-
    The thought of parading around in a bikini instills enough fear in me to stop drinking so many cokes and start doing a few more sit ups. So that’s why.
    Everyone is different with their “standards”. Your sisters obviously have different ones than me and I am probably more strict with some things where your sisters are more lax.
    Free agency, it’s a beautiful thing.
    Thanks for asking though, I’m obviously not your “typical” LDS girl. But I believe what I believe. And I’m happy with that.
    Did I mention I have a tattoo? And go to the liquor store to buy whiskey for pecan pies?
    Yeah, I make a lot of people curious.

  29. Thanks for the email!

    Funny about the whiskey. My mom, a born and bred Utah Mormon, always had a weakness for Coffee Nips and Mocha Almond Fudge ice cream. She claimed the way they were processed wasn’t really coffee. My husband works for a major ice cream company and yes, they use real coffee (extracted and concentrated yes).

    My brother-in-law (a convert) eat those little liquor chocolates. Makes me laugh. I was raised in such a strict background (except my mom’s coffee tastes), that I have started to wonder what was church dictated and what was my very conservative parents preferences. My older sisters are definitely from the same mold and each have been both Relief Society presidents and primary presidents.

    I hear you on the bikini. Nice dieting strategy.

    Ohhh… tattoo. You rebel. 🙂

  30. Lol. This is not some type of pay for service you are signing up for. Right?! I would have guessed the obvious. Beach. Vacation. But it sounds like it may be a modeling stint. Anxiously awaiting your unveiling. Sitting on the edge of the chair. Ok…. so I’m a bit too excited. hee hee.

  31. Oh my…can’t wait! It’s either vacationing or Miss America pagent swimsuit competition.

    Go Miss Indiana!!!!!

  32. I’m sure you’ll be smokin’.

    I am drinking coffee with half and half and will not be in a bikini in 28 days, if that helps you at all!

  33. Now that’s a small bikini! Unless I take an expensive visit to the plastic surgeon’s office, I won’t be wearing anything like it anytime soon!

    Good luck on the dieting!

    On another note, due a long time ago, I never posted a pic of my dad in a shower cap only because I thought it would be nice to get his permission first. Well, he hated the idea. Bummer. It’s a funny one though! sorry I won’t be blasting it across the internet!

  34. Why am I suddenly afraid that this will involve waxing sensitive girly bits or getting body sprayed so that you will resemble a member of the carrot family?????!

  35. All I can say is GRRRR! So lucky that you didn’t get stretch marks on the belly! Ugh!

    I’m sure you’re going to be super hot though! I’m just jealous!

  36. Ooh, the 28 days are nearly up!
    Super cute bikini.
    Hope the project has gone/will go well!


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