A brokent heart has a very audible sound if you’re around to hear it.

It is a deeply painful and exhausting noise that manifests itself when there’s just not any more room left for hurt on the inside. It comes in waves. Long heaving sobs followed by quick uncontrollable gasps. Then a sort of relief comes, like you couldn’t possibly cry any longer.

But you are reminded of something…it could be anything involved with the origination of your sorrow.

And it starts again.

The problem with the sound of a broken heart is that they are rarely heard. Not because they are rare, but because they generally begin and end in private.

Those who don’t know the sound, those who haven’t been somewhere alone as their body is overtaken with such sorrow that nothing is a a motivation to keep going will tell someone going through a broken heart anything that sounds right and logical at the moment. “It’s going to be alright.” “Everything happens for a reason.” “They didn’t deserve you anyway.

It may be true, but broken hearts don’t reason and they don’t do logic.

Those who do know the sound? They will just shut up and get to work.

In whatever way that may be.

When I think of all the sorrow I’ve seen come across my screen over the past year I think of all the broken hearts. Ones that will never be heard aside from a few words tapped out for us to read.

The mind has a way of numbing the pain of a broken heart, although I firmly believe it is never truly gone or better. Which leads us to suffer in silence occasionally, because to the outside world we should “be over it already.

I’ve made the sound. I know the sound in a very intimate way. When I hear it the numbness around my heart is weakened.

Oh, how I know that sound.

And I’m so sorry that you have to know it too.


  1. Oh how true this is. I wish we could find a quicker cure than time. But hopefully while we suffer, we learn.

  2. Indeed, the sound of a broken heart is something you never forget. Even if sometimes, you wish you could. Thank you for writing this, it hit a chord.

  3. “It may be true, but broken hearts don’t reason and they don’t do logic.

    Those who do know the sound? They will just shut up and get to work.

    In whatever way that may be.”

    Truest and loveliest thing I’ve read in days.

  4. You have just explained what I have tried to explain to my best friend for three years. A broken heart is very personal and no matter what you throw at it there is no way but time to heal the wounds. Thank you for saying what I couldn’t.

  5. I am speechless.

  6. Oh, how true this is.

    I constantly think to myself – if only I could reach through my laptop and hug someone. It wouldn’t make anything better, but maybe it would bring a bit of comfort.

    Perfectly put.

  7. Wow.
    This is what I have never been able to explain. I find comfort out here in the virtual world with other broken hearts.

  8. I’m crying because if I could have written this, I would have. This is me.

  9. I wish I were not so intimately familiar with the sound, with the way it feels.

    This is beautifully put and perfectly accurate.

  10. great post. nice to know we’re not alone.

  11. Wow.

    Just wow.

  12. So true and such a powerful post.

    I too wish I were not familiar with the sound, but I’ve become used to it, and somehow have managed to keep going.

    I’ll never again be the same person I was before, but maybe I’ll come out stronger on the other side. As I hope we all do.

  13. So many times the people trying to help just increase the wound with their lack of understanding. We get so caught up in the desire to feel better, or make others feel better, that we miss the important beauty of mourning.

    Pain is important. We need to feel it, to sit with it. It’s the painful pruning that helps us grow. But I would never tell anyone else how to handle their pain.

    Thank you for your beautiful words.

  14. I’ve had a broken heart many times but since I’ve become a mother I realize I don’t know what it means to be broken. Every day, even over good things, my heart breaks a little. If she were hurt or, God forbid, worse I couldn’t take that breaking.

  15. We learn to suffer silently, because people start telling us we need to move on. We should be past it by now. We are just whining to whine.

    Yep. I’ve heard it all. I keep wondering where they think my mend broken heart button is. Sigh.

    Thank you for this Casey. I’m sorry that you too know how this feels. Hugs to you friend.

  16. This post is amazing.

    I’m just starting the healing process (It’s been 41 days but who’s counting?) and it’s like grief – ebb and flow. And you can avoid the hot spots of memories but in the end it’s the smallest thing to comes out of no where like a 2×4 to the face & there’s really nothing you can do but try to not get swept under by the wave of sad.

    I’ve always been one to preach “this things will make us stronger in the end” but sometimes I don’t want to be stronger, I just want to be next to him.

    Thank you.

    xo Meg

  17. Casey, I feel like you wrote this for me today. My hubby and I are in a rough, rough spot, so much so that I can’t even bring myself to blog about it. It’s that bad. Maybe when the smoke clears … hoping it does. Thanks for this. Thanks for knowing what I”m feeling and all of your other posts. Just thanks.

  18. It makes me feel a little bit better that it’s not just me who feels this way. And it makes me glad that there’s at least one of us brave enough to talk about it.

    So thanks.

  19. Every sorrow should have he release of someone bearing witness, of another heart acknowledging the hurt, if only long enough to allow some measure of the aftershocks of ache to be dulled.

  20. I know that sound too well right now. I’m having a harder and harder time going about my normal day, when all I can think of is how sick my grandfather is.

  21. Michele says:

    My husband and I were talking and decided that time doesn’t heal. Time just makes things more bearable. We have to remind each other not to pick the scabs too much.


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